Signs of High and Low EQ

Listed below are general characteristics of people with high and low EQ, as I define it. Obviously, these are generalizations, but are helpful as guidelines. Please note that these lists include general signs of high and low self-esteem, as well as other variables which have not in fact been specifically correlated to emotional intelligence as defined by Mayer and Salovey. Future work will attempt to more clearly differentiate between self-esteem, emotional intelligence and my definition of EQ.

Signs of High EQ

A person with High EQ:

• Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
• Does not diguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...." sentences.
• Is not afraid to express her feelings.
• Is not dominated by negative emotions such as: Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness,
  Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
• Is able to read non-verbal communication.
• Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
• Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
• Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
• Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
• Is intrinsically motivated.
• Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
• Is emotionally resilient.
• Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
• Does not internalize failure.
• Is interested in other people's feelings.
• Is comfortable talking about feelings.
• Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
• Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.

Signs of Low EQ

A person with Low EQ:

• Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them.
• Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
• Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
• Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
• Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
• Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
• Sends "you messages" disgused as "I feel messages" For example, "I feel like you ...."
• Lays guilt trips on you.
• Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
• Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
• Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
• Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
• Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
• Doesnt tell you where you really stand with her.
• Is uncomfortable to be around.
• Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
• Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
• Is insensitive to your feelings.
• Has no empathy, no compassion.
• Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
• Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
• Does not consider your feelings before acting.
• Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
• Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
• Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
• Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
• May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others' joy.
• Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others' legitimate fears.
• Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
• Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
• Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
• Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
• Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about it.
• Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others' feelings.
• Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated.
• Focusses on "facts" rather than feelings.

Test your emotional intelligence (EQ)

Research suggests that a person's emotional intelligence (EQ) might be a greater predictor of success than his or her intellectual intelligence (IQ), despite an assumption that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life. Emotional intelligence is a person's ability to understand their own emotions and those of others, and to act appropriately using these emotions.

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http://www.ihhp.com/quiz.php

Your Score: 51
45 - 54
Congratulations! You have very high emotional intelligence. This is good news! EQ counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined in determining who will be a star performer. Your level of EQ likely has been and will be a driver of your high performance for years to come. Areas to work on: While you are doing well - don't forget to take time out of your busy day-to-day activities to stop and reflect on what brings you the greatest meaning in your life. If we fail to do this on a regular basis, we risk becoming tranquilized by the trivial. Sedated by the small details. Yes, deadlines need meeting and goals must be achieved. But if we are working toward goals that are not in alignment with our key values and greater purpose, we face becoming hostile and cynical - losing the reason we are doing 'all of this' in this first place! This translates into less joy and enthusiasm for our work - resulting in a diminished ability to be effective, at ease, and on purpose. As William James said: I have no doubt whatever that most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness... much like a man who, out of his whole body organism, should get into the habit of using and moving only his little finger...

We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon, of which we do not dream.To improve your Emotional Intelligence Click Here.

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http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/eqtest.htm

You scored 80% correct!

Remember you responses need to have been as honest as possible. If you feel that your score does not reflect you, please retake the test and answer each question in the way that best represents the way you typically feel.

Your score indicates that you have an above average EQ.
People that typically score in this range are able to recognise and understand their feelings as well as being able to express them in an appropriate manner. They are comfortable with who they are. They are not afraid to show love, empathy and compassion for other people. They are comfortable with intimacy and comfortable about giving of themselves to other people.
They are also very good communicators. They are very in tune with themselves and those around them. In most circumstances they know how to say the right thing at the right moment. They are good friends and partners. They are able to show anger in appropriate ways and are not afraid to stand up for what they believe. They are not afraid to cry if they are hurt. They are not afraid to admit that they are wrong, or embarrassed to say they are sorry.

They are typically happy, well-rounded people. They easily accept challenges and are able to stay motivated and focused in the face of setbacks. They are able to set and achieve goals for themselves. They are positive and optimistic about themselves, the others around them, and their future.

Remember that emotional intelligence never stops growing. Because people are always evolving, EQ is something that needs to be nurtured. If it isn't your emotional intelligence will disappear. Continue to utilise the emotional intelligence that you have and continue to identify and work on areas that need work. If you do this, your EQ will continue to flourish!

We wish you the best of luck.
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