Random Thoughts

Someone told me that my blog is generally very depressing...

I shall say "Well thank you..."

I guess.... so is Ecclesiastes....

[You know, I used to just say the darnest thing and don't really care what people say or think about me.... However, when I grow in experience, I realised some truth, and you know some truth are not so... rather some people do not like the truth.... What Jack Nicholson (by the way, one of my favorite actors) will say, "you want the truth?! You can't handle the truth!" Anyway, I realised people can get misunderstanding very easily even when you have not the least intention to.... So for the statement I say above.... I will repeat again... (I have finally learnt to be political...!!! Hoooray... All thanks to my training with highly sensitive people in my life... Thank you....)]

I guess.... so is Ecclesiastes very depressing.... (But we know the ending...) Right.. there you go...

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Recall about the past few weeks sermons.... Intrigues me:

I'd been sick for quite a long time... In fact the whole of last year.... A friend came with good intentions and ask me...

Friend 1: Gary, how come you are always sick?

Me: Not enough sleep I suppose...

Friend 1: Oh... Have you been praying?

Me: Why?

Friend: Oh... If you have been praying... If your life with God is right you should be tired... You know hor... I also very tired... But after I pray.... I feel so much better... I think you should pray then you won't be sick...

Me: I will keep that in mind...

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Wish List

1. Wisdom

2. Understanding

3. Knowledge

4. Influence

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Prayer List

1. Finish my last lap of studies well

2. A good career

3. Health (Have not been well a long long time... Probably due to sinus...)

4. Ability to influence

5. Good relationship

6. Vision and dreams in this lifetime can be fulfilled (Life is short. Make full use of it!)

7. Strengthen and develop my medulla and pre-frontal cortex

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Meaning of Life... Part 1

"And I applied myself by heart and mind to seek and search out by [human] wisdom all human activity under heaven. It is a miserable business which God has given to the sons of man with which to busy themselves. " ~ Ecclesiastes 1:13 (Amplified)

Normally in blogs, people write about their daily stuff. What happened to them, what interesting things happened, who pissed them off, their horrible day, etc, etc...

Today I am writing something deeper than that. Something that most people avoid talking about, what most people need yet unaddressed... It is a dangerous mission, yet someone has to do it. So if you are not ready, please proceed to another blog. Read on at your own risk...

The meaning of life...

What is the meaning of life?

For thousands of years, men and women of every age, every race, and every culture sought to understand the meaning of life. Throughout history, scientists and philosophers, theologians and artists, politicians and social activists, monks and sages, men and women from all walks of life discussed and debated many questions in the quest to discover the meaning of life.

Buddhists believed that the meaning of life is to go through suffering. And only attaining Nirvana, can one be freed from suffering and pain...

Christians believed that a Creator had created the world and life in it, and life's meaning is nothing more to accomplished the plan the Creator creates.

One focus on the pain and how to get out of the pain, while the other focus on the goal and how to achieve the goal inspite of the pain that comes along with it...

Now, lets put the two belief aside for a while... Let's un-christian-ised and un-buddhist-ised for a while, for a more philosophical view.

The truth of the matter is that the two belief system has one thing in common. That is, pain and suffering is inevitable. The truth is people start questioning the meaning of life because they are unhappy and depressed about their present circumstances.

While in search of true happiness, many will realise what Solomon states in his book of Ecclesiastes, : "in the end of the day, I am just chasing wind". The wisest man in the world described fruitless efforts in search of "Enlightenment" as "chasing the wind"

He opened his book saying:

"Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever."

Don't we all question ourselves at some point in time:

"Why am I working so hard for?"

I know I have... And I know all those works will one day account to zero just as everything you can see is only temporal.

I began searching the meaning of life at the age of 14... I had enough to live day by day, I had a shelter over my head, I have education, what more can a 14 year old want and not get? A Sega (at that time), or Nintendo? No... No materialistic item can satisfy the soul. The soul is hungry for "soul food", which none can provide.

I grew up in a Buddhist family, not highly devoted, just by name a Buddhist. I watched how people goes to the temple in search of answers but return with none. I saw how people prayed and pleaded but none was answered. Maybe those people are asking for "selfish" stuff that the gods will not allow such "selfish" requests.

I myself asked for an answer. An answer to how man arrived on earth and how man must continue. I asked for directions, directions in life on how to be a better person, how to please the gods above. I ask for a good life, a comfortable life, a life full of myself and I with no regards of anyone else. I was a self-centred man, a typical man, asking for an escape route from the reality. The reality was the circumstances at the moment. I needed a breakthrough, not just a temporary solution, a permanent breakthrough. One that I can leave my past in the past, and forward into a brighter future.

Like what you guess, it is all but chasing after the winds. Its a vicious cycle.

Then at the age of 21, I came to know Christ. At first, I thought it made a difference. But it didn't, nothing changed. Only as I grew to understand the words of Ecclesiastes.

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil." ~ Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (KJV)

How to Choose the Right Partner

by Health Resource Center

Do you have an ideal partner sketched out in your head? Perhaps you have a shopping list of “must have” traits. If so, you are not alone. The most common characteristics people want in their partners include honesty, intelligence, sense of humor, openness to new ideas, stability, communication, common hobbies and interests, and willingness to work on the relationship to make it succeed. Though men and women might seek similar traits in a partner, research has demonstrated that each individual focuses on different qualities. Men typically want a relationship that allows autonomy, while women look for a sense of connection.

To begin your quest to find the right partner, think about the traits and behaviors you prefer. Most people automatically think of superficial traits such as “height” or “blue eyes.” Though these traits can be important, other traits are more important when it comes to having a healthy, long-term relationship. Here is a list of some important qualities to consider:

1. Commitment to personal growth

• Is interested in learning how to be a better person and spouse.
• Is aware of emotional baggage, blind spots, and weaknesses.
• Has personal goals for self-improvement.

2. Emotional Openness

• Is aware of his or her own feelings
• Is able to express his or her feelings
• Desires to share feelings with you

3. Integrity

• Is honest with himself or herself
• Is honest with others and you
• Does not play games about wants and feelings

4. Maturity and Responsibility

• Maintains a clean house, pays bills and handles finances
• Is able to take care of himself or herself
• Follows through on promises, shows up on time, doesn't let people down
• Respects your boundaries, feelings, time, etc.

5. High Self-esteem

• Takes pride in himself or herself without being arrogant
• Takes care of body, living environment, car, possessions
• Does not allow other people to mistreat him/her

6. Positive Attitude Towards Life

• Focuses on solutions instead of problems
• Turns obstacles into opportunities
• Sees the good in situations and people

Now that your list is complete consider some flaws that are fatal to a relationship. Your partner might have one or more of these traits and still be capable of having a relationship. However, you may have a problem-filled relationship. According to Barbara DeAngelis, PhD the following is a list of fatal flaws:

• Addictions
• Anger
• Victim consciousness
• Control freak
• Sexual dysfunction
• Hasn't grown up
• Emotionally unavailable
• Hasn't recovered from past relationships
• Emotional damage from childhood

Analyze Yourself
Next, turn the examination inwards. Ask yourself what is holding you back from having a loving relationship. Perhaps you are hurt from a previous break-up. Maybe you are afraid of commitment. Identify these issues and handle them . In addition, examine your previous relationships and learn from them. What mistakes did you make? What aspects of a previous relationship would you want to develop in future relationship(s)? Finally, examine other factors that might affect your partner choice: cultural norms, expectations of male and female roles, religious background, and socioeconomic needs.

Analyze Your Relationship
Once you are in a relationship continue to examine your compatibility with your partner. Do not overlook compatibility issues in order to be in a relationship. In other words, do not ignore warning signs of potential problems. Other mistakes include making compromises, such as eliminating activities you like because they don't interest your partner or reducing communication with family members your partner dislikes.

Talk to Your Partner
You should not be hesitant to ask your partner questions. You need to find out the behaviors and attitudes you can expect for later. It is important to learn not only about your partner but also about your partner's relationship with his or her family. Moreover, learning about your partner's family will provide insights about your partner. Here is a list of questions you could ask:

• What do you like to do for fun? What did you do for fun when you were younger? How often do you get out and have fun? How much time per week do you take for leisure activities? What do you do when you want to relax? What do you like to do on vacation? What were your friendships like when you were growing up?
• How do you handle tough times? How have you handled some of the difficult situations in your life?
• What were your parents like when you were growing up? How did their opinions influence you, then and now? How did your parents get along? How have you changed over the years?
• What are your plans for the future? What are your attitudes and what is your style for handling money? Do you like to help with household chores? What do you like to talk about? What conversations do you like to avoid?

Take Your Time
Overall, be patient. Take the time to get to know potential partners before jumping into a relationship. After all, you wouldn't select the first apple that caught your eye in the produce bin! Why be any less selective with your choice of mate?

References:
James, John and Schlesinger, Ibis. How to Choose the Right Partner? Addison- Wesley: Menlo Park, CA; 1987.
DeAngelis, Barbara, Ph.D. Are You the One for Me? Delacorte Press: New York; 1992.

Nightmare

"Nightmare is the term currently used to refer to a dream which causes a strong unpleasant emotional response from the sleeper, typically fear or horror, or the sensations of pain, falling, drowning or death. Such dreams can be related to physical causes such as a high fever, or psychological ones such as psychological trauma or stress in the sleeper's life, or can have no apparent cause. If a person has experienced a psychologicaly traumatic situation in life, for example, a person who may have been captured and tortured the experience may come back to haunt them in their nightmares. Sleepers may waken in a state of distress and be unable to get back to sleep for some time. Occasional nightmares are commonplace, but recurrent nightmares can interfere with sleep and may cause people to seek medical help. " ~ (* Wikipedia)

In others words, Nightmare is the circumstance that every one want to wake up from. Yet to each of us there is nightmare in our life.

I am a student, sort-of... A part-time student. And every student knows, they have a nightmare that creeps them, chill to their spine. Exams are what we, students hate. But exams are not our nightmare. Our nightmare is the fleshly nature behind exams. "NO MOOD TO STUDY!"

Oooo.... The thought of it brings chills down my spine.... How many students suffered through the transition of "No Mood To Study" (NMTS)? Exams in 2 days time, "bam" Hit but NMTS... A classic killer... Its worse than PMS that guys suffer every month... It's hell break loose on earth...

Your emotions within you churn... The dilemma between knowing what you should do and the actual doing them confuses you... Brings the blues in you... The emotional turmoil inside fighting the flesh... Not that any of us are stupid... Not that any of us can't do it... But rather... Your body starts to go on strike... "I don't want to go through this anymore!", he says. Yet your brain being the center of command says the opposite... You can't fight it anymore... You felt that you are losing.... You felt that you are giving in...

All the moral teachings you learn from your religion, all the prayers you could offer... All the cries you can give to God... Suddenly seems so futile....

You feel like a kid-o, you feel helpless... You feel like you have no control of your situation... Even thou you know that is not true... You felt that blues...

It is like a nightmare that you can't wake up from... You struggle and you struggled some more.... There is nothing you can do... You felt defeated.... You call upon the Name that is above all names.... You call for help... Nothing happen....

That, my friend, is NMTS, "No Mood To Study"...

If the above is in anyway resemblance of someone you know... Know that it is not fictional.... It is the same temptation that crawls up our doorstep.... You are not alone... Remember:

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13 (KJV)

Bite you lips... Hold on tight... Keep walking... Open that book of yours... Keep reading... Telling yourself "I CAN BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Remember, Nightmares are meant to be waken from...

Ten Things I Hate in Life

1. Flu

2. Headache

3. Noise

4. Inconsiderate people

5. Stupidity

6. Simple Minded Simpleton

7. Forgetfulness

8. Stubborness

9. Unrepentance

10. Exams