Friday, December 07, 2007

Signs of High and Low EQ

Listed below are general characteristics of people with high and low EQ, as I define it. Obviously, these are generalizations, but are helpful as guidelines. Please note that these lists include general signs of high and low self-esteem, as well as other variables which have not in fact been specifically correlated to emotional intelligence as defined by Mayer and Salovey. Future work will attempt to more clearly differentiate between self-esteem, emotional intelligence and my definition of EQ.

Signs of High EQ

A person with High EQ:
  • Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
  • Does not diguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...." sentences.
  • Is not afraid to express her feelings.
  • Is not dominated by negative emotions such as: Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness,
    Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
  • Is able to read non-verbal communication.
  • Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
  • Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
  • Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
  • Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
  • Is intrinsically motivated.
  • Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
  • Is emotionally resilient.
  • Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
  • Does not internalize failure.
  • Is interested in other people's feelings.
  • Is comfortable talking about feelings.
  • Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
  • Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.

Signs of Low EQ

A person with Low EQ:

  • Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them.
  • Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
  • Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
  • Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
  • Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
  • Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
  • Sends "you messages" disgused as "I feel messages" For example, "I feel like you ...."
  • Lays guilt trips on you.
  • Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
  • Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
  • Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
  • Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
  • Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
  • Doesnt tell you where you really stand with her.
  • Is uncomfortable to be around.
  • Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
  • Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
  • Is insensitive to your feelings.
  • Has no empathy, no compassion.
  • Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
  • Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
  • Does not consider your feelings before acting.
  • Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
  • Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
  • Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
  • Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
  • May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others' joy.
  • Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others' legitimate fears.
  • Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
  • Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
  • Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
  • Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
  • Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about it.
  • Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others' feelings.
  • Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated.
  • Focusses on "facts" rather than feelings.

Test your emotional intelligence (EQ)


Research suggests that a person's emotional intelligence (EQ) might be a greater predictor of success than his or her intellectual intelligence (IQ), despite an assumption that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life. Emotional intelligence is a person's ability to understand their own emotions and those of others, and to act appropriately using these emotions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Score: 51
45 - 54
Congratulations! You have very high emotional intelligence. This is good news! EQ counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined in determining who will be a star performer. Your level of EQ likely has been and will be a driver of your high performance for years to come. Areas to work on: While you are doing well - don't forget to take time out of your busy day-to-day activities to stop and reflect on what brings you the greatest meaning in your life. If we fail to do this on a regular basis, we risk becoming tranquilized by the trivial. Sedated by the small details. Yes, deadlines need meeting and goals must be achieved. But if we are working toward goals that are not in alignment with our key values and greater purpose, we face becoming hostile and cynical - losing the reason we are doing 'all of this' in this first place! This translates into less joy and enthusiasm for our work - resulting in a diminished ability to be effective, at ease, and on purpose. As William James said: I have no doubt whatever that most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness... much like a man who, out of his whole body organism, should get into the habit of using and moving only his little finger...

We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon, of which we do not dream.To improve your Emotional Intelligence Click Here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You scored 80% correct!

Remember you responses need to have been as honest as possible. If you feel that your score does not reflect you, please retake the test and answer each question in the way that best represents the way you typically feel.

Your score indicates that you have an above average EQ.
People that typically score in this range are able to recognise and understand their feelings as well as being able to express them in an appropriate manner. They are comfortable with who they are. They are not afraid to show love, empathy and compassion for other people. They are comfortable with intimacy and comfortable about giving of themselves to other people.
They are also very good communicators. They are very in tune with themselves and those around them. In most circumstances they know how to say the right thing at the right moment. They are good friends and partners. They are able to show anger in appropriate ways and are not afraid to stand up for what they believe. They are not afraid to cry if they are hurt. They are not afraid to admit that they are wrong, or embarrassed to say they are sorry.

They are typically happy, well-rounded people. They easily accept challenges and are able to stay motivated and focused in the face of setbacks. They are able to set and achieve goals for themselves. They are positive and optimistic about themselves, the others around them, and their future.

Remember that emotional intelligence never stops growing. Because people are always evolving, EQ is something that needs to be nurtured. If it isn't your emotional intelligence will disappear. Continue to utilise the emotional intelligence that you have and continue to identify and work on areas that need work. If you do this, your EQ will continue to flourish!

We wish you the best of luck.
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Friday, November 23, 2007

22 Guaranteed Ways To Destroy A Relationship

by eNotAlone

Relationships are often hard to maintain, even when two people profess undying love for each other. A major problem in a relationship is that one or both partners continue to make the same errors but then cannot understand why the relationship is in trouble. It is almost as though they are determined to do things their way, even at the risk of damaging a good thing.

In my clinical practice, I have discovered at least 22 errors in thinking and communicating that people make, which if repeated, have the potential of destroying a relationship. Which of the following errors are you making?

1. Rigidly maintain that you are always right, even when you do not have all the facts!
2. Never apologize, even when you are proven wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt!
3. Be relentless in rubbing it in when you are proven right!
4. Dogmatically maintain that you know your partner's motives better than he or she does!
5. Assume that your partner should understand your needs and should respond immediately without being asked!
6. Totally ignore your partner's priorities and insist on your own!
7. Operate on the assumption that your partner's sexual need cycle is identical to yours!
8. Add deep psychological meaning to your partner's sexual disinterest, and take it very personally!
9. Do not ever admit hurt, but go immediately to the expression of anger!
10. Identify your partner's character flaws and family secrets and use them to make a point when logic fails!
11. Use guilt to manipulate, to get your own way or to punish!
12. Become proficient at catching your partner being bad, but do not ever comment if you catch him or her being good!
13. Cut no slack, yield no ground and push your argument until your partner walks out the door... then follow the coward!
14. Do not let go of the past, rehashing your version of it as often as possible!
15. Cling very very tightly, claiming that you will surly die if you are ignored!
16. If you are not a clinger, then stay emotionally/physically distant, and show no signs that you really care for your partner!
17. Make promises, but never keep them!
18. Be factious so you partner never knows when you are being serious!
19. Always make excuses for your bad habits!
20. Insist that what you have to say is always more important that what your partner is saying, so interrupt!
21. Pretend that you understand what you partner has said, even if you have no idea of the point that was being made!
22. Act as though you do none of the above and it is your partner who must make all the changes!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Survey

Scenario 1

If you had been away (be it overseas, or in a coma) for a long time (at least 1 year). You pick up the most recent newspaper.

  1. Which section will you flip to first?
  2. What is the one news that you want to know? (If you can only read one news)
  3. What is the the most interesting news you will want to know?

Please help me by answering the above question in the "comments" section as part of my survey. Thank you...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Romance advice: competition in relationships

Some competition in a relationship can be healthy, but too much of a competitive spirit can cause major problems.

We're all exposed to some form of competition from our earliest childhoods. We competed with our siblings for our parent's affections, we competed with our classmates for the teacher's attention, and we competed in sports or academic events. In our adolescence, we continued to compete for college scholarships or spots in an athletic team. We even competed for the attentions of members of the opposite sex.

This competitive spirit often serves a positive purpose- it keeps us motivated to improve ourselves by occasionally comparing our own skills against others. But sometimes competition brings on situations where we get so caught up in the pursuit of 'winning' that we lose sight of the benefits of NOT winning. This is one of the dangers couples face in
romantic relationships.

It would be nice if we could completely switch off our competitive urges, but we can't. Two individuals meet, often under competitive circumstances, and a complicated cycle of ambition and compromise often begins. In a sense, the
meeting itself is a result of competition. One or both partners took the initiative and successfully pursued someone who may have been seen as a 'prize catch' by others. Thus a romantic relationship already begins with a sense of achievement through competition.

Sometimes a competitive spirit can bring out better qualities in both partners. Each individual accomplishment promotes a positive sense of 'if she can do it, so can I'.
Romantic partners can provide each other with a tangible example of what ambition and drive can do. Someone who tends to remain on the sidelines while others move forward may find the resolve to improve himself or herself. In the most positive sense of competition, demonstrating your own ambition might spur a romantic partner to break out of a slump and become more energized. The only caveat would be to realize when you're being constructively competitive and when you're being recklessly driven by ego. Romantic partners may appreciate each other's competitive natures, but one may begin to build up resentment if the other is constantly away for contests or career-boosting business trips.

Some
couples find that competition left unchecked can lead to conflict. An issue that may be readily resolved with a little compromise may escalate to a full-blown battle instead. The idea of being proven wrong or having to settle for second place is not always a good thing for competitive personalities to consider. Winning the argument becomes more important than reconciling the facts which prompted it. Romantic couples who don't want to live in a 'fight or submit' atmosphere must learn to discuss problems non-competitively. There may indeed be one opinion closer to the truth than another, but it shouldn't be viewed as a win or lose option. Both sides might present their position with passion and authority, but ultimately compromises should rule the day.

Another difficult competition issue to face as a couple is career success. If the man is an auto mechanic and the woman is a legal secretary, they may not experience much in the way of career competition. He may harbor thoughts of becoming the manager of the shop or starting his own garage, but he is not competing against his wife or
girlfriend vocationally. She might want to go back to school for more legal training or find a completely different occupation. Again, her career interests don't interfere with those of an auto mechanic. But let's examine another couple for a moment. He has always wanted to be a successful writer and she works as an assistant newspaper editor. Both are driven to become successful in an extremely competitive business. He sends out numerous manuscripts while she happens to meet a publisher at work.

In this scenario, an unhealthy competition can lead to a very serious conflict. The publisher may read her manuscript and offer her a contract, while his efforts come back with rejection slips. Both understand the competitive nature of the writing business, but she experiences the first real success. Her partner may find himself caught between two very human emotions- pride for his partner's accomplishment and jealousy that she received a 'lucky break'. The danger of competition becomes more obvious as time goes on. He may devote more of his time to improving his own craft, which would seem to be a positive outcome of his partner's success. But meanwhile, she's written a second successful book. The conflict begins anew. Whenever both partners are in the same competitive vocation, it is essential that they reach an understanding. The real 'competition' are those unseen faces trying to get the same contracts or accounts or clients, not one another. Remaining competitive in a business sense may benefit both of them, but they cannot remain competitive in a romantic sense and expect a
long-term relationship to survive.

Another problem that some couples face involves the outcome of one partner's success. He might be offered a remarkable opportunity to work at the company's headquarters, but the office is located in California. She may have a satisfying career at a local hospital with the potential of becoming a supervisor. If she moved with him to California, she'd have to take a lesser position and begin with no seniority. If he remained in Maine with her, the job in California would be offered to someone else. Both partners have a solid case for remaining in place or moving away. Both achieved their career goals by being constructively competitive. But in order for one partner to reach the next stage in his or her career, the other must make a tremendous sacrifice. This is where competition between couples would not be helpful. The only resolution is finding a workable compromise in which both partners would feel they received proper respect. If they both remain competitive, then the 'losing' partner may build up tremendous feelings of resentment. They may have to decide the matter on the basis of real economics and the potential for employment. If his new job in California came with a significantly higher income, then she may have to consider taking a small step back in her own goals. He may have to consider keeping his old job so she can stay in competition for a supervisory position. Competitive couples might easily decide to go their separate ways over an issue like this, or attempt to maintain a very difficult
long-distance relationship.

Competition in a romantic relationship can bring out the best in both partners, since each one sincerely wants to become the best he or she can be. Without some spirit of competition,
relationships can quickly become boring and routine. Having passionate discussions about movies or politics or books can keep the couple moving forward in their relationship. It's only when winning becomes more important than the time spent together that competition can become a difficult thing to face.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

You are 2/3 spiritual 1/3 carnal... Not 6/3 spiritual

Although last week message was good on "How to handle stress", I had a friend who saw me online today. My friend try to convince me that I am stress. I say no. And My friend insisted that I am stress... 20 mins to convince me that I am stress...


It is either I am werid or this world is weird...


Can I have a normal person to talk to?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Unhappy People

There are different kinds of unhappy spouses. The best thing you can do for them is to maintain your own happiness.

1. The angry spouse. Basically, an angry person is afraid of intimacy. Rejection, betrayal, and even abandonment are common in the history of angry people. So, anger becomes a way of assuming power over other people and avoiding intimacy. You cannot successfully live with an angry person by confronting him or her. The Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath (see Proverbs 15:1). So when the angry spouse is accessible to you, tell him how much you love him, but how fearful you are of his anger.

2. The dependent spouse. As long as you continue to do things for the dependent spouse, he will let you. You must gradually wean him from his dependency by failing to do for him what he has learned to expect you to do. As he becomes more responsible, let him know how much easier it is for you to love him because he is much less of a burden to you.

3. The depressed spouse. A depressed spouse becomes a difficult problem. Usually the spouse who is not depressed expends considerable effort to cheer him or her up and grows very weary and impatient in the process. If he needs biblical counseling, encourage him to talk to his pastor. If he needs additional help, contact his personal physician.

4. The flirtatious spouse. A flirtatious spouse often leaves his or her mate feeling inadequate. As a woman, you know it is nice to be flattered once in a while, and most men like to feel that they are attractive to women. The flirt caters to these needs.

5. The miserly spouse. Either spouse may be afflicted with this behavior. Negotiating an agreed upon amount that each spouse has to spend is often a successful solution to this kind of financial bondage.
The underlying message is often, "Unless you agree with me and go along, you'll regret it."

One clue that a person is attempting to intimidate or manipulate you is the use of unpredictable, or protean, behavior—acts that are random and seemingly out of the blue. A dictator keeps his minions guessing—and scared. Some forms of despotism are much subtler: Duke Ellington was known for provoking heated rivalries and feuds among his bandmates in the belief that such strife would make the music hotter.

Erratic behavior is a powerful weapon because it defies accurate prediction. Often, the behavior comes as a surprise even to the person generating it.

Flying into a rage or staring you down and dismissing you summarily are common strategies to keep you off-kilter. Unpredictable actions serve the purpose of confusing potential usurpers and avoiding responsibility. Your boss freaks out, throws things and yells. Some might call him irrational. But the irrationality gives him a leg up.

Erratic behavior served adaptive ends in our past, and it still does. Just as a minnow might cut a zigzagging path to avoid being snapped up by a larger fish, the boss alternately screams and stonewalls to avoid having her motives laid bare.

Protean behavior evolved to prevent people from being psyched out. That's not to say that fickle acts are always openly hostile and aggressive. The person can just as easily be solicitous or seductive: Think of femme fatales from biblical Judith to Mata Hari. Unpredictable behavior is at heart about deception, and it's just as likely to be unconscious as conscious.
There are several problems confronting you at once, since you're juggling competing goals. Your ego tells you to stick up for yourself, but you want to avoid an unnecessary argument.

Usually we can't resist getting riled up in our own defense. The ease with which we fall into dueling dyads is a remnant of a "culture of honor" that most of our ancestors needed to adopt. Our neural circuitry equips us to immediately jump to our own defense. The Neanderthink urge to rectify an injustice kicks in automatically, lest we accept abject defeat. The immediacy of the "me versus you" and "us versus them" reaction hinders a more intelligent and considered response.

We usually regret having charged into battle—or at least we wonder what we were thinking. And that's just it: We weren't thinking. An emotional reaction bypasses thoughtful deliberation. No rational person today would engage in an argument with a random person on the street. But if someone bumps into us, blocks our way or otherwise wants to hassle us, our immediate inclination is to freeze, fight or flee. Similarly, our immediate response to the verbal slights or manipulative barbs of a person is often to fight back. Your immediate reaction is, "I can't stand this crazy, insulting behavior."
We too quickly jump to our own defense when we feel insulted. We do so because we have evolved a hypervigilant concern for our standing among peers. This focus on status makes sense as a play for dominance and power, qualities that translate into real mating options. The need to retain status is an example of Neanderthink. This knee-jerk demand for status can push us to get outraged and to lose focus on larger goals, such as keeping your job or your mate. We want to prove that we are correct—but doing it angrily and intolerantly can hinder your major objectives. Dominance at every turn is good, but not a necessity.

Still, we're so captivated by displays of dominance that we pay boxers millions of dollars to watch them square off and even pay to see professional wrestlers play-act a power struggle.
This is not to say that everyone has the immediate urge to lash out in self-defense. Some people freeze when confronted with criticism, telling themselves, "I must not be criticized" or "I must be above criticism." Temporary paralysis in response to a physical threat may once have kept you alive; but freezing in the face of a verbal onslaught won't help you make your case.
Resisting the trap set is easier if you're aware of your vulnerability to getting hurt and then feeling angry. That tendency is a vestige of Neanderthink, because there was a time when your status was more closely linked to life or death than it is today.

Better to check your fight, flight or freeze reactions and refuse to be a part of a duel in which you're an inadvertent participant. Sure, you need to stand up for yourself, but do so without demanding that you be above criticism at all costs. Remind yourself of your long-range goals: saving time, energy, hassle and maybe even your own hide.
Staying Rational When Confronting

1. If you're required to respond to an irrational attack, ask the antagonist what exactly he is upset about, in order to show that you are interested in communicating rather than in arguing. The burden of responsibility is now back on the antagonist.

2. After the unreasonable salvo, go ahead and agree with a kernel of truth in the complaint. You'll overcome your own Neanderthink impulse to jump into the fray by looking for that one small fact about which the critic is correct—and then agreeing with that single point. Your boss calls you a screw-up. Ask, "In what way did I screw up?" If she says, "You just are a screw up," agree with one discreet example (if it is accurate), but correct her overgeneralization.

3. You can more easily and tactfully defend yourself once the emotional heat has abated. Say your boss says, "Again, you're totally screwing up." You can defend without a defensive tone: "It is true that I made a mistake, and I appreciate constructive feedback to minimize errors in the future." Stand up for yourself by reiterating the specific error, but refuse to be incorrectly labeled a screw-up.

4. Offer to the person your best guess as to what he or she is feeling, and ask for feedback. "It sounds like you're angry right now, and I'm sorry about that." This demonstrates a willingness to understand the person's frustration without blame or defensiveness.

5. Resist the urge to fight to win the argument. Listening and asking questions leads others to their own better conclusions. This process is known as the Socratic method. Although it didn't ultimately help Socrates, today's laws are a bit more enlightened—so it might help you.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

How to have a successful relationship?

by Gary Quek
We all want a successful marriage or relationship with our love ones. Yet how many of us want to take up that responsibility to treat our love ones right?

It all begins with begins with small decisions.

"He will understand if I stay late at work again." "She doesn't mind if I go out with the guys."

Indeed, in relationship we must be understanding towards each other's needs and requirement. Yet when that assurance of understanding becomes too familiar. Familiarity breeds contempt. We slip into a routine of separate hobbies, separate schedules, separate goals and separate lives. We and our love ones become separate.

All marriages are moving toward either intimacy or isolation. Yet the outcomes lies on the choice you make.

"You can make your marriage relationship happier by understanding and being tolerant of the differences between you and your spouse."

So what can you do?

You can discuss your feelings without accusing your spouse or overdramatizing your feelings. Simply explain how you feel.

If you are the listening party, listen objectively. Listen to what your spouse doesn't say. What does this tell you about his or her needs? Don't be defensive. Your spouse is not out there to pick on you, he/she is opening up to you with his/her vulnerablity. Remember, the main piroity in this conversation is reconciling. Not fault finding.

Discuss what you need. Don't assume that he should know, or she won't understand. Be honest.

Discuss specific areas that both can improve to support each other. Try to become receptive to ways to improve yourself for your spouse. What can you do to improve the level of communication? How can you make your mate happier when you are together?

Learn to understand the differences between you and your spouse. Then be tolerant.

Recognize and accept the limitations in your relationship. Your mate cannot provide 100 percent of your emotional needs and should not feel pressured to do so.

I slept at 9

I slept at 9 last night...

It was orgasmic, satisfying physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The unrestrained sensation of satisfaction, the intense sensation of relief experienced was peaked with much fulfillment.

The contentment that filled with delightful bliss, pleasure, and joy. The achievement that is so rewarding, and comforting, indulging in the enjoyment of refreshing compensation brings serenity with ease in gratification.

I slept at 9

Monday, October 29, 2007

If God is Merciful, Give me some Sleep...

I am so tired today. Just like every other day, these few years. My heart feels heavy. My head is spinning. If I have one wish. My wish is to sleep for a long long time. I think I am experiencing hallucinations and delusions right now. I can't differentiate what is real and what is a dream. I can't tell today and yesterday apart. It felt like I went into a state of trance.

The other day, I napped for 2 hours. But it felt like I have fainted or died, or perhaps an out of body experience. I think I went into a coma.

For the past 3 years, I only have an average of 3-4 hrs of sleep per day from Monday to Sunday, and I am not getting younger by the min, darn... I am so physically tired all the time...

Although you can see me smiling and joking all the time, but really, I am having a headache and my head spinning and "dancing" (doing the break dance, mostly windmill....) all the time, and sometimes I can literally feel my heart beat going slower (just like what I am experiencing right now). You know, for my heart to be still beating is already a grace of God. But if God is indeed Merciful, Give me some Sleep...

Am I suffering from all the Side Effects of a Lack of Sleep? Can sleep deprivation be the explanation of my behavioral changes? Is my prolonged lack of sleep causing my immune systems to begin to break down and become unstable to fight diseases? Is that why I get sick so often? Can this explain my frequent headaches and nightmares? Will The Effects of Sleep Deprivation affect my brain? Will I become an Idiot?

Indeed this lack of sleep is affecting my quality of life, but what is there I can do? I certainly do not need drugs to help me sleep. Can a doctor prescribe me sleep like prescribing a drug? I certainly do not need to go to a Sleep Spa to undergo Sleep Therapy. The only Therapy I need is a Time Therapy. Just if God can pause time when I sleep to allow me to recuperate. Yes I know I am hallucinating.

"Manage your time la!" some of you might say. Or "Sleep so much for what? Pig ah?!"

While "Thomas Edison slept 3-4 hours at night, regarding sleep as a waste of time", some of us just need that sleep to perform better.

Remember, everyone is made unique, different. We all have different needs and requirements. Just like what my Great-Grand-Father like to say: "Every finger is different even on the same hand"

Even Robots need to rest!

Friday, October 05, 2007

Negotiation Skills Test

Although we may not be aware, we are constantly confronted with negotiation situations. We make compromises with friends and family about what to eat for dinner, what movie to watch, and what to do on the weekend. If you’ve bought a car or any other major purchase, chances are you’ve done your fair share of haggling. Being able to negotiate effectively is a good skill to have in your repertoire, particularly when it relates to the business world. Find out if you have a knack for deal-making with The Negotiation Skills Test.

The Negotiation Skills Test is made up of three types of questions: scenarios, self-assessment, and interactive. For each scenario, answer according to how you would most likely behave in a similar situation. For the self-assessment questions, indicate the degree to which the given statements apply to you. The interactive section will have its own instructions, so please make sure to read them carefully. In order to receive the most accurate results, answer each question as honestly as possible.

Whether you’ve argued with your parents or children about curfew, discussed a potential pay raise with your employer, or haggled for a better price at a car lot you know at least the basics of negotiating. Whenever a disagreement occurs, some form of negotiation will result. In the business world where million dollar deals are made everyday, being able to negotiate effectively is crucial. The ability to resolve disagreements and come up with a mutually-beneficial solution takes skill and practice. Although not every negotiator strives for a win-win situation, it is almost always the most optimal outcome in terms of maintaining the integrity of a business relationship. Of course, achieving these ends is rarely an easy endeavor.

Snapshot Report
Use of “Dirty” Tactics

20

Although the use of “dirty” tactics may be common in certain industries or negotiation situations, they are generally not considered to be the best techniques. Many negotiation experts recommend not using them for several reasons. Dirty negotiation tactics can tarnish relations with the other party as well as your reputation. Moreover, their success is not foolproof; there are many ways to counter the use of such tactics quite successfully.

Your results indicate that you are generally not the type to use dirty negotiation tactics. Either you aren’t really aware of what these methods constitute or you simply choose not to put them into practice. Whatever the case, kudos to you! While a dirty tactic may get you what you want in the short-term, it often comes at a serious cost.

Meticulousness Test

Do you have an eye for detail? Are you painstakingly precise or do you skip over the little things? The truth is everyone skips the smaller stuff on occasion - but sometimes hanging in there just a little longer to work out the kinks can really make a difference in the quality of our work or any another task we take on. After all, attention to detail is what made Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa and Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" (among other notable masterpieces) so famous. The Meticulousness Test will assess whether you have the patience, focus and willingness to be thorough.

Paying attention to the little details of a task takes a lot of patience and focus. Most of the time, we’d much rather skip over them – or perhaps don’t even notice them. The problem with this approach is that a lack of attention to detail could result in senseless and sometimes serious mistakes. In many cases, taking care of the finer points of a project can really make a difference. Although being able to see the big picture is important, acknowledging the smaller elements that are a part of it is also essential.

Snapshot Report
Motivation
71

According to your responses, you normally consider details very important. In fact, you might even enjoy taking care of the nitpicky little tasks that most people find annoying or boring. To you, the fine points are rarely trivial or inconsequential, and therefore, should not be overlooked. These practices likely stem from your belief that putting in that little extra effort to be meticulous can really make a significant difference. This belief in the importance of details likely results in some truly great work on your part. Just be careful not to get too caught up in the details, because being able to step back and see the big picture is important too.

Self-Esteem Test

Do you believe in yourself? Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? Self-esteem is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling relationships and achievement. This test is designed to evaluate your general level of self-esteem and determine whether you need to work on your self-image. Take the Self-esteem Test to find out your true sense of self.

Examine the following statements and indicate how often or to what degree you agree with them. In order to receive the most accurate results, please answer each question as honestly as possible.

After finishing the test, you will receive a Snapshot Report with an introduction, a graph and a personalized interpretation for one of your test scores. You will then have the option to purchase the full results.

Self-esteem is essential to our ability to function in a healthy way. Without the foundation of a solid sense of self, we are unable to take the risks and make the decisions necessary to lead a fulfilling, productive life. Low self-esteem can corrode our love lives, careers, family bonds, and most importantly, our internal sense of well-being.

Snapshot Report
Sense of Self-Worth

87

Your results indicate that your sense of self-worth is very healthy. You rarely, if ever, put yourself down or fall victim to self-depreciating statements. There are certain attitudes and beliefs that have been found to contribute to and "feed" a positive self-image, and you appear to have most of them. Examples would be believing that you deserve to be loved or respected, believing that you’re good enough for someone, and focusing on your good qualities rather than only your perceived faults. While you may not necessarily feel all of these things all of the time, your opinion of yourself is quite positive. This is a healthy attitude to have, as a poor sense of self-worth can hold you back from pursuing your goals, cause you unnecessary stress, and even become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Links to a better Relationship

from psychologytoday.com
It's the Thought That Counts An expert answers key question about the dangers of overthinking....

How To Fight—and How Not To Learning to argue productively will keep you from damaging your relationships with loved ones....

Five Ways to Transform Your Partner Into Your Perfect Mate Therapist Terrence Real's five winning strategies that will rescue even the most unsalvageable relationships....

Six truths for couples The six simple truths of a happy marriage....

The Trouble with Men For many men, depression carries a burden of shame....

The Art of the Argument How to fight clean—and have a productive argument, not a pointless row....

The Science of a Good Marriage Why the best marriages are based on deep friendship....

Relationship Rules Many people have no idea what a good relationship is all about. Here are the basic ingredients for a healthy intimate relationship....

Men don't cry, women don't fume Offers insight on the emotional expression of men and women. Perception of persons attitude when men and women display emotions inconsistent with the gender stereotypes; Type of emotions both sexes are expected to show; How women's feelings and reactions a...
Emotional Discipline Sometimes emotions can overtake us, but there are steps we can make to overcome them....

How to Save Your Relationship Guidelines for reconnecting and bringing relationships back to life....


The Damaging Relationship Why smart women make dumb mistakes about men and how it affects their lives....

What makes marriage work? It's how you resolve conflictthat matters most....

Relationship Test

by psychologytoday.com

The Arguing Style Test
We all wish for the ideal relationship - one in which our partner anticipates all our desires, fulfills all our needs (before we even realize we have them), showers us with attention yet gives us just enough space, shares the same values, knows exactly what to say to make us feel good and is (of course) good-looking, charming, and kind. We might wish for it, but it would be unreasonable to expect that such a person exists! Besides, after a while, being with such a perfect individual could get pretty darn annoying, making our little flaws seem huge in comparison.

I am not a bad "fighter", but I still have a lot to learn when it comes to my arguing approach.

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Arguing Style Test - Revised 40 questions, 20-25 min

This test is designed to evaluate what kind of arguing style you use when you fight with the people you care about.

Examine the following statements and indicate how well they describe you, how often you feel that way, or to what degree you agree with the statement. After finishing the Arguing Style Test, you will receive a detailed, personalized interpretation of your score that includes diagrams, information on the test topic and tips.

Find out more about this test...
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The Self-Disclosure Test for Couples

This test is designed to measure your tendency and willingness to self-disclose, which is essentially "opening-up". The natural need to let us others peek into our minds and souls is what allows us to form close bonds with other human beings, yet not everyone approaches self-disclosure the same way. Do you keep your lips sealed tight with your partner when it comes to personal matters - big or small, embarrassing or not? Or do you let the floodgates open, sharing your thoughts and feelings in an effort to build intimacy and closeness? We all know people who go on and on in extreme detail about their co-workers/classmates, their inner dreams, their opinions on world peace and the sandwich they had for lunch. Others, when asked how their day was, mutter, "Fine, nothing special"; even though they had a car accident or won the lottery. The examples are extreme, obviously, and the differing approaches to self-disclosure are not necessarily good or bad.
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Self-Disclosure Test for Couples - Revised

Are you prone to spilling the beans to your partner, or are you the tight-lipped type? The Self Disclosure Test for Couples examines how much personal information you share with your loved one, which can have a powerful affect on the level of intimacy you attain in your relationship. Go overboard on the self-disclosure, and you might kill passion in the romance; avoid self-disclosing and your partner will never get to know the real you. The key to self-disclosure in relationships is balance!

Fill in the questionnaire, responding as you truthfully would in such situations. If you have never been in one or more of the situations, respond as you most likely would. If you are not presently in a romantic relationship take the test with a past one in mind. If you have never been in one or more of the situations, respond as you most likely would. After finishing the Self-Disclosure Test for Couples, you will receive a detailed, personalized interpretation of your score that includes diagrams, information on the test topic and tips.

Find out more about this test...

Sunday, September 09, 2007

When we have questions...

In the beginning it was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. Let there be life, and there was life, with the breath of life.

What is life? We did not choose when or where we appear. In fact we did not chose to live in the first place. So what is life about? Why was there life? Who gave me life? How did an egg and a sperm create a living creature that walks the earth and dominates the world? And why an egg and a sperm create such different creatures? Some black, some white, some yellow, some brown. Some smart so not. Some big, some small. Some good-looking, some not. Some successful, some have yet be. Yet all are made in the same genetic material.

"The rich and the poor have one thing in common, the Lord is their God"
So why are some rich and others not? Why are some happy and some sad? Why is there drought and flood? Why is there war when there could be peace? How can one human murder another? How can there be backstab?How could people, a human being be harden in their heart? How can tragedy change a person's life? So bad things do happen to good people. But why?

A lot of questions isn't it?

Ain't we all full of questions? Ain't we all want to know why? Ain't we all have issues that bother us? Ain't we all carry baggages we want to lose? Ain't we all looking for some forms of answers in our life continuously? Ain't we all just imperfect human beings trying to do things right the first time?

Yet many times we failed. Many times we messed up. We ruined things that are not meant to be ruined. And so there are consequences for us to bear.

Indeed there are second chances in life yet not in every situation you get to do it again. Many times when you miss your chance you lose your stake. Haven't you heard that some people describe life as gambling. You win some, you lose some.

The pressure of life indeed is stressful, to the young to the old. Every age group has problems of their own. In their own way a heavy burden to bear.

There were those times when it feels like you reach the end of the road. Those times Your desperation drives you crazy. Worse of all, there is nothing you can do about it. You pray and prayed and pray some more. Yet, nothing happen.

There were those times you life seems like its going downhill. There were those times you fell and keep falling and you do not know when you will hit the ground. There were those times it feels like a dream, like a dream that you dreamt about falling. A dream you dreamt that you are falling and that you can't wake up from.

There were those times your life seems out of control. There were those times your adrenaline rushed to the max. There were those times your blood pressure hit the roof. There were those times your heart pound like its going to stop.

There were those times you lay flat on the floor like a piece of clay. There were those times you were nothing but crushed into pieces. There were those times you were down and you are out. There were those times you look up above. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for a higher being to pass you by. So that you can yell "HELP! God.... Is God there? Or is there God?" There were those times you get pound, you lose hope, you don't believe anymore. You stare at the sky wondering "God... Why do you hate me? Why are you messing up my life?"

Maybe it is true that only when you are not able can God be able. Maybe it is true that only when you break can God shape you. Or maybe it is true that when you become weak can you be strong. Or is Batman right that it is when you fall you learn how to stand up?

So what is it? What is life? And how to master the life given to you? How to live your life ahead? How do you not mess up? Intelligence? Wisdom? Guidance? Or luck? What is it?

Ain't we all looking for answers?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

What is Love?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love". ~ Neil Gaiman

"What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives is hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt at all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. You can not finish the book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. " ~ Chatzradio.net

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Greatest Performer Ever Live

The King of Pop
The Lord of Pop
The Creator of Black and White
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To Believe or Not to Believe

Faith (*Dictionary.com)
–noun
1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief, trust.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
4. often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.
5. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.
6. A set of principles or beliefs.

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There are many people around me, who claim that they have faith. But what was their faith built on?

On a few occasions, I was asked to join a group outing which I politely declined. Many time I had things to do, or exams to prepare. I was told that I do not have to worry, have faith in God, let the dead bury the dead, and they will pray for me. Sometimes I meet people whose faith was built on pure hope, or rather wishful thinking. Do they not know that faith without works is dead?

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that do not hope. I am saying that hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. But faith is a tangible substance built on not just a belief. But faith is built on solid foundation of truths and experiences that creates the confident in the things that is believed.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." ~ NKJV (Heb 11:1)

While wishful thinking is a kingdom built in the air with fluffy cotton candy and nice feelings. No wonder the phrase “Building castle in the air”.

Without faith a man can crumble. Yet beware of people who talks about faith. Do not believe in their faith. Beware of their faith. That faith may very well destroy your life; make you lose your Faith.

So what is faith? What do you believe in? How far will you go to prove what you believe? What is it to believe? What is the truth that is hidden beneath lies? Who can you confide?

The answers are and have always been hidden in you…

Saturday, September 01, 2007

The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson

Hee-Hee! Ooh!
Go On Girl! Aaow!

Hey Pretty Baby With The High Heels On
You Give Me Fever Like I've Never, Ever Known
You're Just A Product Of Loveliness
I Like The Groove Of Your Walk, Your Talk, Your Dress

I Feel Your Fever From Miles Around
I'll Pick You Up In My Car And We'll Paint The Town
Just Kiss Me Baby And Tell Me Twice
That You're The One For Me

The Way You Make Me Feel (The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On (You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet (You Knock Me Off Of My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone (My Lonely Days Are Gone)

I Like The Feelin' You're Givin' Me
Just Hold Me Baby And I'm In Ecstasy
Oh I'll Be Workin' From Nine To Five
To Buy You Things To Keep You By My Side
I Never Felt So In Love Before

Just Promise Baby, You'll Love Me Forevermore
I Swear I'm Keepin' You Satisfied
'Cause You're The One For Me


The Way You Make Me Feel (The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On (You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet Now Baby-Hee!
(You Knock Me Off Of My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone- A-Acha-Acha
(My Lonely Days Are Gone) Acha-Ooh!

Go On Girl!
Go On! Hee! Hee! Aaow!
Go On Girl!

I Never Felt So In Love Before
Promise Baby, You'll Love Me Forevermore
I Swear I'm Keepin' You Satisfied
'Cause You're The One For Me . . .

The Way You Make Me Feel (The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On (You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet Now Baby-Hee!
(You Knock Me Off Of My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone (My Lonely Days Are Gone)

The Way You Make Me Feel (The Way You Make Me Feel)
You Really Turn Me On (You Really Turn Me On)
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet Now Baby-Hee!
(You Knock Me Off Of My Feet)
My Lonely Days Are Gone (My Lonely Days Are Gone)

Ain't Nobody's Business, Ain't Nobody's Business
(The Way You Make Me Feel)
Ain't Nobody's Business, Ain't Nobody's Business But Mine And My Baby
(You Really Turn Me On)
Hee Hee!
(You Knock Me Off Of My Feet)
Hee Hee! Ooh!
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)

Give It To Me-Give Me Some Time
(The Way You Make Me Feel)
Come On Be My Girl-I Wanna Be With Mine
(You Really Turn Me On)
Ain't Nobody's Business-
(You Knock Me Off Of My Feet)
Ain't Nobody's Business But Mine And My Baby's
Go On Girl! Aaow!
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)

Hee Hee! Aaow!
Chika-Chika Chika-Chika-Chika
Go On Girl!-Hee Hee!
(The Way You Make Me Feel)
Hee Hee Hee!
(You Really Turn Me On)
(You Knock Me Off My Feet)
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)

(The Way You Make Me Feel)
(You Really Turn Me On)
(You Knock Me Off My Feet)
(My Lonely Days Are Gone)


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Monday, August 20, 2007

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

I looked at my schedule and I knew that I will have a hard time doing this module. I know I have got 4 reports due on the 10 August. I knew that everyday before 28 July I have got classes. I planned to do all my reports during the term break from 30 July to 3 august. But what I did not plan it a series of unfortunate events.

23 July I was very sick, I took MC and stayed home to rest. I took medicine and I knock out completely. 24 July I received a call just as I woke up at 630 am. I got the news that my grandfather pass away. The whole week I skipped school and took leave for the wake.

The funeral was on 29 July, and the week after there were so much to do. We are also concern about my grandmother. Worried that her depression will elapse. We took turns to stay over and take care of her while trying to recover from my flu and the many sleepless nights.

The term break was over. I have not done anything. Finally, it was due. 9 August I emailed my lecturer asking for extension explaining what happened. Thank God for the favor he gave me. My lecturer said its OK to extend.

By then I am very stress out already. I got 4 reports due which I can't finish. I am also very busy in the office. Thank God again for favor, I manage to apply for leave in the midst when everyone is "fighting fire" in the office. I took leave on 17 August thinking that if I can manage to finish all these that week. I can do my Poster Presentation for the week after next.

What do you know? Bad things do happen to good people. 17 August again, I woke up in the morning receiving news that my girlfriend's grandmother just pass away. She was very close to her. I had to go support her. So I went down and stayed with her until noon. I went home, did some work. The next day, I thought that if I concentrate and try to finish everything that day I can go to the wake at night to accompany her, giving her support. That day, I woke up in the morning, I switched on my computer, wanting to do my report, my computer crashed. I spent the rest of the day trying to salvage my reports that are saved on my hardisc. Thank God again. I manage to retrieve my data. That night I went done to accompany her. 19 August I manage to borrowed a computer from Charles. Thank God his Sister-in-law left a computer in Singapore but she flew to Australia to study. But I only got the computer from his at night. That night I went to the wake and came back at 3am.

All my reports are not done yet. I have a Poster Presentation yet done due on 22 August. Thank God my lab partner knew about my series of unfortunate events. She offered to do the Poster by herself so I can quickly finish up my reports. I was humbled.


Now I left my 4 reports to finished and another Medical Presentation to do for 27 August.

Will God appear again? I am sure He will!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Meekness vs Pushover

Meekness: (*from Dictionary.com)
noun
1. the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness
2. a disposition to be patient and long suffering

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Pushover: (*from Dictionary.com)
noun
1. someone who is easily taken advantage of

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There are so many times in my life when my meekness became my weakness.There is this woman at work. She is a nut crack. For 30 years of her service she screams at everyone with reasons that you will think that I am joking.

She screams at me when I say I am leaving, because it sounds like I am going to die. She screams at me when I am washing my hands, she say I am wasting Government's water. She screams when the driver is late or someone say something that she don't like to hear. She screams when the ice-box is on the floor. She screams when I log off the computer so that she can log on to her account, she screams when the boss wants me to use the new eform for application. All this time I just take a deep breathe and walk away. The last draw was when she scream when I had to log off the computer. She went to complain about me. Every few days she just have to find someone or something to scream at and complain about. You think I am making it up? I don't blame you. I can't believe it either....

You know, is that happen before I was a christian, she is a dead duck. She scream at me I will scream ten times louder. And I tell you boy, can I scream. Once Sandy ask me not to yell so loudly during rehearsal, but I didn't tell her that was my normal voice. I didn't even project.

Well there are many other examples how I bite my lips and say God You called me to submit toYou.

There is this guy who like to tell people what to do all the time. He is like Mr Fix-It. Mr Fix-It like to put you down in front of others by criticizing your work. No no... Don't get me wrong. It is not that I can't take positive criticism. No no... Mr Fix-It likes to nitpick every little thing. Maybe he is just a perfectionist you say. No way Hosea... He will pick on you no matter how good a job you have done. Don't believe me? There is once he kept picking on my "masterpiece", we had a exhibition. So we need some props. He say its not flush enough. I tried to tell him that it will not be fully flush on a jagged surface. He accuse me that I am lazy. I say fine you show me maybe I am not as good as you. He ripped away what I did. He tried for a few beat. He make it worst than how it was. He gave up, he throw it back to me. Do a proper job. Really, if I had not been a christian, I would have given him my middle finger and recite a poetry about his ancestry. I chose to bite my lips and walk away.

So does being meek make you a pushover?

Well, the truth is that some people just don't get it. When you chose to keep quiet they take a step into your boundary. You keep quiet again, they inch forward. Only until you make your stand they back off. I called those people "leeches".

Why? Because if they don't leech on you they can't survive...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A Gift or a Curse?

To each is given a set of talents. Every talent is a certain potential. Every potential can be converted to energy. Energy can be converted into action.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that:

“In any process, the total energy of the universe remains constant.”

That means energy under normal conditions cannot be created or destroyed; rather, the amount of energy lost in a steady state process cannot be greater than the amount of energy gained, simply transformed from one type of energy to another.

Second Law of Thermodynamics states that:

“There is no process that, operating in a cycle, produces no other effect than the subtraction of a positive amount of heat from a reservoir and the production of an equal amount of work.”

Which means that that no process is 100% efficient, so there is no such thing as a perpetual motion machine. So living systems will break down unless they have some input of energy, or closed systems will become more disorganized over time. Often this is expressed by the saying "entropy tends to increase".

To put it simply, any time you do work, including the time you make an energy transformation, some of the starting energy is going to be lost as heat. So when you drive a car some of the gasoline's energy is lost right a way as heat, some gets turned into mechanical energy to move the car. Even some of this mechanical energy is also lost as heat. For instance if you feel your car's tires at the end of a trip they will be hot from friction with the road. This heat is an energy loss and is a consequence of the second law.

The Third Law of Thermodynamics states that:

“As temperature approaches absolute zero, the entropy of a system approaches a constant.”

Newton's First Law of Motion is often stated as:

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”

In other words, a talent that is not used will not be used. When no energy is converted, there is no heat, potential is stored, and talent not release. The reserve is also true. A talent that is used keeps its strength when potential is released and converts into motion. Even the few thousand years of Chinese culture understood the underlining meaning. An art, 太極拳, was formed at the age of the ancient China where the Chinese used the Law of Physics to defeat their stronger opponents.

Hidden talents can be categorized under two denominations. Firstly, there are lazy people who have the talents but do not want to use them. Secondly, there are people dying to release what they have but circumstances do not allow them. It is what I called “being shelf”. You know if you have a can of delicious Campbell soup, say “Minestrone” (my favorite), and you did not open it. When you open it up, you heat it a little, the fragrance of the soup that savors your tongue, the sweet sweet aroma that rises can surface. But if you are only going to leave it on the shelf with the rest of your other canned food; the Minestrone soup is as good as a can. The true beauty of the very creation will never be revealed. It will stay on the shelf until it is tasted or it will stay on the shelf till expiry, aged and discarded, never will it be know the actual potential of the Minestrone.

It is sad to say that while many are waiting for their opportunity to breakthrough. There are many bummers who have the opportunity yet gave it away for a bowl of stew (if you know what I am talking about).

Only when the first-eleven is not available can the substitute be called. The agony of the substitute one can never comprehend. Or how a talented Ryan Giggs is limited by the rest of the teammates.

So what is more important? To shine in the industry or to maximize your potential? Can we have the best of both worlds?

The truth is there is a time and season for everything to happen. You got to be the right person to go to the right place to wait for the right time. When that holy trinity comes together, there is no way that you can not shine! That is of course unless you don’t give up half way. Most people give up when the tough gets going, and the going gets tough.

A piece of advice: Don’t quit!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.