Oh God Its Friday...

I am pretty sure you will wondering why am I sighing because its Friday. And I should be rejoicing instead. It is the day of the week that most look forward to yet it is the day of the week that dreads me.

I look at my week, and I thought to myself, "How did time flies so fast?" It does not seem like I accomplish much, yet time and tide awaits no man. It just pass you by.

Everyone is given 24 hours of their life a single day. 168 hours a week. How did Bill Gates achieve so much and yet many in the world are left under-achieve? Are there really secrets towards "Success"? Is "Success" foreign to most of us? How did nature sieve out the lambs from the goats?

Where did my hours go?

How does anyone spend their time? How did busyness sneek into my life and stole my precious youth away? Was I living day by day, night by night, watching the clock tick away? Or did I spend my time on fruitless vainity that waste my day?

What is happening? Why is my time leaking?

"What profit does man have left from all his toil at which he toils under the sun?"

Because all men and women are installed with a programme "Glory version 1.8" Because knowing glory is what makes men want to have glory. This "Glory" I am talking about is a glory that comes from the inside. A glory that comes out of your consciousness out from your soul from your spirit. Do not be decieve my friend. Certainly I am not talking about looking for your glory, and fame, and wealth. I am not talking about greed.

My friend, a dog does not know glory. A dog does not know truth. Eating from a plate made of gold and eating from the rubbish shoot makes no difference to a dog. A dog can lick up its own vomit. A dog can drinks its own pee. However you who know, know you want to stay in a condo, have your gold visa, sit beside Cindy Crawford, and drive a Ferrari Spider. Yes that is the difference of knowing glory.

As I age over the years. My awareness towards "Glory" grew. From version 1.1, constant updating patches to "Glory 1.8". The awareness of "Glory" made me understood why men toil in dirt and sweat. Is it a better life they were seeking? Is it more that they want? Is to fulfil a void? Or is it to fulfil a purpose?

A purpose is probably what made man, man. Without a purpose, living will just be a routine of reproduction and death. That is what made animals, beast. But men are eternality concious. They do know that they are working on things that will last forever.

Men were give the privilege of knowing their purpose. And life is all about fulfilling it. Yet many look high and low to seek out their purpose. The purpose for your existance is simple. So search no more. You are made and designed to be you. What is your strengths and what is your weakness? What part of the society can you play in? How can you contribute to make this world a better world?

I have seen many people trying to be someone else. They do not understand the principle of life and life itself. Life on earth is like a life as a cell. A cell have 4 stages in a cell cycle, G1 phase, S-phase, G2 phase and M-phase. In G1 phase a cell is preparing itself to move to S-phase. A cell in this stage is critical. It needs all the information and materials to move on to the next phase. If conditions are favorable, a cell move to S-phase in about 10 hours. However if conditions are not favorable, the cell will delay moving to S-phase until all the information and materials needed are gathered.

Now S-phase is Synthesis Phase, it means that a cell will now synthesis what it needs and prepare itself for G2 phase. G2 phase like G1, is a phase where the cell have to wait again. It is to prepare and to organise itself for cell division. M-phase is cell division. It is when 1 cell become 2, 2 become 4, 4 become 8. It is a time for multiplication. It is a time cell undergo mitosis, cell division, hence M-phase.

Every cell in the body plays a specific purpose. Some are in the ministry of labour in the company name "Hand"; some are in the transport business call "Leg"; and some are in charge of the national developement, they make sure that everything is going well and they called themselves "Brain".

The hand, the leg and the brain does not consist of a cell each. They each contains millions and millons of single cells packed closely together, working as a whole. Yet the hand and the leg and the brain does not work independent from each other. They all work interdependently for the whole "life" to perform.

Can the brain tell the hand that he is more important because he plans and he is the "brain"? Can the hand tell the leg that he is the one that does all the work, so he should deserve all the credits? can the leg tell the brain that without him the brain will never know what the world is like sitting at the same spot year in and year out? Certainly not! Can you choose one part of the body that is unneccessary and cut that of? NO! Because every organ and every cell has a specific role to play. By playing his role the body is nourish. So how does a cell know what to do? He doesn't. A cell is borned into his purpose. He is there and he is where his purpose is. He just does what was needed for him to do. He did his part.

How then if I am only doing what I am doing can I achieve my desire of Glory? Remember the 4 stages of the cell cycle? There were 2 G-phases, 2 waiting phases. Do you feel stagnant because you went into a phase of preparation? Don't be tired of doing what that. Becasue that will determine wheather you move to the next stage or wait some more because you are ill prepared.

So if success is measured as a percentage. Then "Success" will be the ratio of "How much have you done in this life time" vs "How much you could have done in this life time".

Man.. Why do I always deviate and how did I change my subject? Gosh... I shall continue again...

Generation X

Had a long conversation with a friend last night. He talk me about his dreams, his fears, and his present circumstances. All those triggered me to hibernate in thoughts again.

"It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe you can love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out." ~ (Above Description taken from one blind mouse.)

"Quarter-life crisis" usually hits from the ages ranging from 21 - 29, and early 30s' (known as Generation X), termed by Abby Wilner and Alexandra Robbins, authors of Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties.

These emotions and insecurities are not uncommon at this age, nor at any age in adult life. They occur shortly after a young person – usually an educated professional, – enters the "real world". After entering adult life and coming to terms with its responsibilities, some individuals find themselves in a world of career stagnation and extreme insecurity.

Fears and Anxiety where were they from? When did they ride on their chariots and march into our lifes? Were they huge giants or are we like grasshoppers? How did they cause us to rise in blood pressure and turn our life around?

Once we were fearless, we did not know what failure was. We have no experience what "bad fall" felt. We were like Humty Dumpty, we climb every great wall. But once we fell, we had a great fall. Pieces of us shattered on the floor. And it takes all the king's horses and the king's men, but yet they couldn't put us back together again. At least not the way that we used to be.

So why did picking up one's own life responsibility as such culture shock?

Could it be that we are too used to what had in the past? Or did we took for granted that there will be someone who knows all the answers to life and awaits for that answer to come? Or are we too sheltered living in a world and society that everything already have steps and protocols for us to follow? Did we become lazy to make decision? Or have we forgotten that what we have today, in the beginning, it was none?

Let me asure you that life is not an easy path. There are forrest and rocks and trees and creatures in front of us. So how do we get pass them and stay in our path? Isn't it easier for God just to tell us? Since He creates the heavens and the earth, since He knows all things. Would it be great that He just give us and answer? That is the fantasy of many people around today. They go around asking for "divine answer" from every culture and every religion. You see them in the temple, you see them in church asking "God Help!! Have you forgotten me?" But yet why did people rather believe in "divine answers" and not believe that the real answers were already long give to us?

Let's take Christianity as an example. Christian doctrines are base on the faith in the God of Isreal who sent Jesus His Son, fully man yet fully God, to earth to suffer and die on the cross to pay for the eternal debt of sin once and for all saving all who call upon His name and believe. The faith of God consist of trusting His provision and trusting that a Helper, the Holy Spirit was sent after Jesus acceeded to heaven, will help you in time of need. Well there is nothing wrong with the doctrine, however yet many fall into the "sin" of "overly-relying" on God. Well let me expand on that.

Fully relying on God is not wrong. But what I meant by "overly-relying" on God is like the following example. A young girl is having her exams. Although she studied very hard, when she went into the examation hall she panic and got a mental block. She couldn't answer any of the question and she panic even more. So she started to pray "Oh God help!! Give me Answers!!" Well you see, there is absolutely nothing wrong about praying to God in times of distress. However asking for help when the answers are already in your hand is kind of not what the bible would describe as "being more than a conquerer".

There was a day that Jesus was teaching by the sea. When evening came, He said to His disciples "Let us cross over to the other side." So Jesus and His disciples took a boat and went to the other side with other littles boats following. And out of the blue a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. However Jesus was sleeping. By then the disciples were all panicing and they asked each other "What should we do?" And they all looked and each other in vexed. Then a young man cried out "Jesus, Jesus would know what to do!!" So the disciples went around up and down, high and low looking for their teacher, Jesus. When they found Him sleeping in the stern, they decided to wake Him. They said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?" Now Jesus is a patient man. Jesus is a loving man. Jesus is a fatherly figure. As tired as He was, teaching for the whole day by the sea, upon such request by His beloved disciples, Jesus arose. He went out in that stormy night. He looked around. The wind was racking the sail, the wave was eating the boat. The crews on board are fanatically trying their best to scoop the water out of the boat trying to stay afloat. Jesus went up to the deck and He rebuked the wind there and then, and He said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And immediately, the wind ceased and there was a great calm. Now the hero had done it again. There was great rejoicing! Everyone on board was praising God! Yet Jesus was not happy at all. He turned to His disciples and all that were on board, He interrupted the celebration and He said "Why are you so fearful? O you of little faith? How is it that you have no faith?"

So why is it a fatherly Jesus mad at the disciples for asking Him to help? The reason is very simple. Long after that day, the disciples were casting out demons but there was just one that overcome even the toughest, Simon Peter. So the demon possessed man was brought to Jesus. Then Jesus said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me." And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" So Jesus answered them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.'"

Many a times, the solutions for every problem were already given to us. Awaiting for us to pick up the authority to apply it on our lifes. Yet we fail to see that we are indeed more than conquerers! Like a baby, we are always asking for help. Well there is nothing wrong asking for help. But should there be a time when boyz become men? Should there be a time when men can finally pick up the authority and take dominant over what was already handed to him?

So what does all these have to do with a "quater life crisis" as in introduction you may ask. Well the reason is just as simple. Fears and anxiety are natural responses in the absence of love. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment." Because "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

The answers to you quarter life crisis were already long in your hand. ~ L.O.V.E. Love. When you genuinely care about someone else, when you forget about self-seeking and seeking self. You will find the answer to your crisis...

Biochemical Regulation of Cell Function Practical Exam

Oh boy... Just finish my practical exam... Vmax came out in the paper today... I was so certain it will come out... I didn't get it at all... I didn't know to do... Yes... I don't think I did very well this time... Sigh... I was so silly... I was almost correct when I subsitute everything in the equation... I just did not get the 100 X Km means... Arr....

Oh sorry... You probably lost in space don't know what the hack I am talking about... Its ok... It is over... Just whinning a bit... Getting rid of all the tension that is building inside...

Tomorrow is another day that I need to fight the battle... Paper 2 is on thursday... Err... I got to focus.... Really got to buck up... No more procastinating... Err... I want to finish this well... Biochem you are an ant... I am going to overcome you... You are so easy to understand... And I will score a good grade!!! I am going to score a good GRADE!!!!!.....

Yes... That feels better... :D

12 November 2006, Sunday

Gee.. What a day... Slept in the afternoon... Woke up in the evening... Went for dinner with Esther, Shelia, Baoli... At this "lu-loo ma-chum" place at siglap call donno what "Blooie"... Man... that place is as their slogon says the least expected... Why would anyone have a resturant between 2 car gargage?? Anyway they survived... Food? Ok... Embience?? Ok... It was a pleasant place la... So no complains...

Gosh... Tomorrow is my practical exam... And I am so not prepared for it... Ok.. this is what I will do... wake up at 8 and start my engine... Then go and take my exam...

*Breathe

There goes my panic... Give it away... Haha...

There is this 2 incident I wanted to share that happen to me this week... And I find it really amusing....

1stStory

I was shopping the other day and I saw this T-shirt looks quite good la... So I ask the sales girl "Miss... Do you have size for me?"

And she goes "Yes.. What size do you need"

"I need a 'L' please.. I want to try it on.."

"Sorry Sir.. We don't have 'L' anymore..."

So I said "Then can I try a 'M' see if it fits..."

She goes "Sorry Sir... 'M' is also sold out... We only have 'S' left...."

2nd Story

I was getting a ice milo at one fast food resturant, which I do not want to mention, at the airport... So there I was at the counter and I ask the girl, "Can I have a ice milo please?"

And the girl at the counter greeted me with a very poilte tone and then she ask "What size do you want sir?" And before I can answer she replied herself,

"Oh, there is only one size for Ice Milo"

So the moral of the story here is to think before you speak... Really sometimes it does happen to us and we do not realise... We all have a voice and a tendency to want to be heard. So we always speak before our mind is fast enough to analyse the situation... And this is what you get... for speaking too fast... Making a fool out of yourself... Like I always say... "Be quick to listen, But be slow to speak..."

This is for you guys... Cheers...

The World Today...

Can you believe it? Talking about sensitivity...

Someone finally open their mouth about the slogon. And as I have expected from the mouth of the every guy that I really cannot "tahan". How is he like? He is Mr Know-it-All. He knows everything and anything. With or without asking his comments, he comments. Ha.. As you can tell, Mr Know-it-All is also known as Mr Righteous. Everything that he does and says is always righteous. Even thou he can be obviously not. It is like Pharisees and scribes, they turn and they twist every possible "law" and make it "lawful". My goodness... Characters from the bible are coming into existence... Why should I be astonished? It is in fact a book that contains histories and promises isn't it?

Maybe I'm just a green horn. Sometimes I just find it so hard to believe that the world is made of all sorts of people, every shapes and sizes, ranging from man with 2 heads all the way to a big, ugly and decompositing mouth. Indeed living with creatures that are different from you may not be the most enjoyable experience of a life time. But doesn't that make a friend that you know you can trust sweeter and a blueberry pie?

But that does not make my life any much easier. Working with people who are so "close" minded. Everyday they just like to talk about the good old days of the eighties. My goodness sake... We are living in the new millenium, its year 2006 and they are still talking about the eighties? Talking about Jag-Lag. Ha... Guess what? They still deal with things like the good old days. My mine... We can draw lessons from the past, but living in it is seriously a whole different issue...

Ok back to the story... So what happen? There is a big "who-har" about the slogon and deep analysis about what it meant. Well someone thought it was very offensive... Ha.. "If you are reading this then who is aiming?" is offensive? Then what about this signage?

I don't know. Could it be I am too westernise? Or is it that they are to asian-ic? Am I too vocal? Or they have this conspiracy theory going on in their mind? Are we "allow" to express ourselves? That has been a very hot question in Singapore for a long time. I believe yes we are allow to express our view. However, any consequences of your expression must be weighed before expressing them. But why? Why does the majority of the Singaporeans believe otherwise? Could it be that the asians are brought up in an environment that other than their father, an authority figure, are allow to speak and noone can speak and express themselves? So they hide and they run and the suppresses their feelings and emotions and all their thoughts since young just to get the acceptance of their father. But deep within them their dreams and their views and their thoughts are screaming and yelling for help in the graves of the heart. Unknowingly, asians grew up suppressed and unhealthy of their emotions and developed a "stinking thinking" in their mind that most people call it "the conspiracy theory", that everyone just want to oppose them. In psychological term, its called "emotionally shutdown". They are highly suspicious that everyone and anyone wants to harm them. They built up a wall of defence and everytime anyone says anything they are the first to yell out and starts to giving you series and volumes of explaination that they are correct. When the bloody fact that NO one said they were wrong in the first place.

Interesting phenomenon wouldn't you agree?

How can anyone promise you that this world could be a better place when the world is made out of imperfect people like you and I? And the very person that promise you, have a little dirty secret himself.

However, don't be too dispair! This world is a world of possibilities. Everything that you see can change. What is known as reality is in fact the reality of that spilt-captured moment. Things can change and things DO CHANGE!! (For those of you who do not know as yet..) That we are living in a world that does not stop rotating, the earth will keep orbiting around the sun. And turning with a tilt at a 23.5 degree angle means that every turn is going to be different. Things change and they don't go back to the way it used to be just a second ago!

So there will be hope. There will be hope that it would be a brighter day tomorrow. And tomorrow CAN be a brighter day if each and every individual can play apart in the renewing of the days of tomorrow. How? Just by simply doing your part. By playing the part that you hold is already helping the world in changing. Just by being YOU! And not try to be someone else you are playing a role in shaping the nations. Just work hard and concentrate in doing the best that you do. Mind your own business but not cut off from the world you are doing a great deal in the days of tomorrow.

Image that each one of you is a single cell within the body. Every cell have a specific role to play. Just image that one of the cells decides that he wans to be something else. That would be disastrous! Because that single cell mutates. And mutated cells are infectious!

"If he can do as he wish why not I?" the neighbouring cells would have thought. Any all the neighbouring cells starts to mutate and it will definately spread. In medical terms, that phenomenon would be called "Cancer". And Cancer being cancer, they reach out and they mulitply themselves until they become so much in numbers they are called "tumour". And they are constantly damaging the healthy works of the human body. They slow the body down by not functioning they way they should be. And for that, the healthy cells have to work extra hard just to keep the body in the healthy state. This will frustrates and irritates the healthy cells, being overwork they will one day burnout. Then the body will become weak and the cancer cells can take over.

But NO... That is not an ending that any of us wants to see... That is not the way life should be... To prevent cancer, we have to fight cancer. We have to fight the cancerous thought of not wanting to be who you are made to be... We have to be who we are made to be because that is why we exist in the first place isn't it?

The responsibility of the future, of your future, of Our future, of the future of the love ones around you is now in your hand. It is your life! You have one life! Choose how you want to live it! Help fight "Cancer"!!!

9 Nov 2006, Thursday

This is the 3rd day after i put up my slogon...

I could not help but to wonder why no one has once brought up the fact of an additional notice... I guess no one wants to be known reading my slogon... Well.. as you can tell if they are reading my slogon... then... :D

However the beautiful thing is this... I do notice that this few days... The toilet seat is unusually cleaner than the normal days... haha... I guess now everyone is minding his own "bussiness" if you know what i mean...

:D

Cheers...

7 Nov 2006, Tueday

This is what i did at work today….

In my office we all share one toilet bowl…. above the toilet bowl there is a notice tt says…. "pls keep the toilet clean thankS for your cooperation" I could not NOT notice the terrible grammatic error and it has been there for a long time..… so there i was using the toilet and staring at it.... something struck me and i went back to my computer... printed a slogon and paste it right beside the notice and my slogon goes…

"if you are reading this then who is aiming?"