How pathetic Man became

Random Thoughts

I had some rough years the last few years back. Looking back at then, I didn't know how did I manage to survive. But I did. Maybe it was God who carried me through. I am pretty glad that the rough times are over. As like after every storm, there are much to clean up. I took a long break to help me put things back into perspective. Time did help me to put my circumstances into life experiences. Looking back, I realised I grew from those.

I am generally happier these days, happier than I was the few years of my time, even though I am beginning my life from scratch again. It does get lonely at times. I did meet new people, but I rarely find those with "friend" material. It is the Chinese New Year season, and the ever-popular question about marriage is often heard nowadays. I don't think I am trying to meet anyone new or looking for anyone at this stage. I don't think I will get attach anytime soon. I just want to find my career path, look for a meaning in my life and the reason why I am here. I want to spend all my time and energy doing just that, the purpose of my life.

I realised I became more relational this year, exactly my new year resolution for 2009. I realised when I try to be excellent, I compromised feelings and became cold like a robot. But when I try not to be excellent all the time, I began to realise the world is kinder and I feel more like a person. Maybe Jerb was prophetic 6 years ago when she tell me "Excellence without Love is nothing".

Maybe all the unrealistic datelines and goals I have set for myself changed me into a task orientated monster. Maybe I need to learn how to relax.