A cool and breezy night...

10.15pm. Just finished my class last night, I was walking to the MRT station when I got a call from a friend. Let's call her S. S wants to go out because she doesn't want to go home for some reasons that I shall not discuss. She called me at the right time, a minute later I would have been on the way back home.

I met her at Raffles Place and we strolled through Boat Quay. Night life in Boat Quay wasn't the same as before. Most of the pubs are empty with a few Ang-Mos. Pubs that I once visited have also turned into seafood restaurants. Why do you need so many seafood restaurants in the same area where most of them are empty?

Anyway we walked to Clarke Quay, and it was quiet too. Somehow we settled down at Brewericks wanting to get some finger food. But the kitchen closed. Sigh... So we went over to Iguana, as advised by the waiter at Brewericks. However, their kitchen was closed too... Sigh... So... We settled there for chips and beer.

We had a nice time talking... I did most of the listening... *smile* I am a good listener... We talked about church, ministry, work, national development... Basically anything under the sun. Until the waitress asked if we could help her by shifting to another table so she can start clearing that part of the restaurant. We left the place and headed towards Fullerton.

I asked S if she is drunk. She said "No". So I ask her to prove it by walking in a straight line. Do you know how to determine if some one is drunk? See... A completely conscious person like myself, if ask to walk a straight line to prove that I am not drunk, my reaction will be "Xiao... I don't have to prove anything to you..." Of course, S tried to walk in a straight line. *Grin*

Saw an old couple along the way, the guy was holding a recorder to his hand and another hand on the shoulders of his mate. He was singing a love song to his lady with music on the recorder. Wow... He didn't look like the romantic type. So.. Don't ever judge a book by its cover...

After a long walk, we finally reach Fullerton. We made ourselves comfortable facing the sea, near the Merlion.

The night was good and breezy, I love that temperature. It reminds me of the good old days in Melbourne when I was doing my Vacation Training Programme. The tide was high last night, the water is calm. The sight and sound of the sea is therapeutic.

We sat there and we broke bread... Hahaha... No no... We were not having communion... We were eating some pastry that she brought in her "Xiao Ding Dang" bag. The sea breeze was cold I tell you.. I wish we had hot coffee or hot chocolate...

We left about 3.30 am in the morning. And there were still couples sitting around. Wow... These people no need to work huh? I reach home around 4 am and slept at 4.30am, waking up at 6.30 am to go to work this morning. Strangely, I am wide awake...

Maybe I am turning into a machine...

戏如人生， 人生如戏。

For the past weeks and days, I have been pondering over my life and my experiences in life. And I was thinking about how a person's decisions or actions can spark off a chain of effects not only having consequences to bear by himself but by others around him as well.

I recalled the times when another's failure or incompetency have cause me dramatic consequences to bear which I do not deserve. Do not get me wrong here. I am not being bitter or resentful. I am full of thoughts.

Indeed everyone have fallen short under the Glory of God. Men are imperfect beings trying our best to be good. However when one failed his best, there comes a domino effect.

I recalled the statement that I have made some time back. I said "Your action or speech can cause a living heaven or hell in another person's life."

Since then I live each day telling myself, I have to be on guard. On guard towards my heart, towards my speech, towards my mind, and towards my action. Because I know that I have the potential to send someone up to heaven, or plunge him down to pitless hell.

Last evening, I watch "Babel" with a friend. The story started with a wealthy couple from San Diego who are vacationing in Morocco in order to heal after the death of their young child. So they left the other two children home with their Mexican maid. In Morocco, a rifle finds its way into the hands of a local herdsman’s young sons, who recklessly take a shot at a tour bus and shot the wife in the shoulder, causing her to nearly lose her life. The distraught husband calls home to tell the maid the situation, who promptly departs for Mexico to attend her child’s wedding, with the two children in tow. Disaster thus multiplies, with the situation in Morocco ascribed to terrorists in the media, while the maid meets with the harsh immigration policies of the Bush administration. Meanwhile, in Tokyo, a widower who used to owned the rifle, gave it to a tour guide in Morocco, became part of the investigation while he attempts to deal with his memories and his raucous, promiscuous, deaf daughter.

所为 "戏如人生， 人生如戏。" 往往现实生活中的银幕就像电影里的情节。剧情高曹跌起。

The dramatic "Butterfly" effects in life is inevitable. Yet we can all do our part to lessen the pain for each other. We can all share a little love, be a little more considerate, help each other by doing our best, do not short change anyone, be sensitive towards the things you say. Forgive... And above all, get Understanding... Communicate... Listen more, speak less... Be gentle... Be nice...

Peace...

郭俊翔笔录

一个人的修养，

在于他的言行举子。

一个人的修为，

代表了他的内涵。

Younger men have the NEED to impress?

Read a friend's blog. She talks about how she felt towards men.

She said: " Men like to play the knights in shinning armours. Younger men have the need to impress. Older men know what they have so they don't need to prove anything."

Well I say "Younger men have to work extra hard just to prove that 'hey, I am not just a new-kid-on-the-block. I mean business!'." and "Older men just stop trying to prove anything because there are always 'eyes that do not see and ears that do not hear'."

Come on.. Don't give me that religious look again... You know how it is like... You know how people will tell you "What do you know young man... You barely started out..." or "Do this and that... Just follow my instructions..."

Men. We are territorial creatures... We don't like people stepping into our space. We have a competitive spirit. No matter how humble you are... There is always something call the "Male Ego". It is a precious Pride that makes a man a Man.

I know what I have and what I do not have. I know my weaknesses and my strengths. I am not afraid to show my vulnerability. Maybe I have a lot of weaknesses, so much so, that young ladies around me frequently point them out to me. Were they expecting more of me? Or do they want to make a better Gary? Don't get me wrong. It did not crush my self esteem. Like I said, I know what I have and do not have. But it certainly did not stroke my Male Ego.

Something to think about... Why does God make all the male creatures in the animal kingdom to display their strengths and beauty during courtship? Or rather mating season... In order to 夺得美人心.... Maybe, just maybe females all alike like their "Knights in their shining amour"...

So really, was it that younger men have the NEED to impress? Or was it that younger men are EXPECTED to impress? And older man have already impressed or Tried impressing so they do not need to anymore...

Open to discuss...

Its one of the days...

Many thoughts were running through my mind right now... Its one of the days where you... you know... where nothing seems to be going right in your life...

More and more you found yourself doing everything for the sake of just doing them... Your passion for things starts to decrease... You start to be indifferent... Perhaps even worse... You dread the things that you do...

You wish you had your life back, yet you know its only for the better... You want to pull out the white flag, yet you hate to surrender... You work towards your dreams and your ambition, only to find them further and further....

Don't worry... This is a man built on a Rock... He is tougher than you think he is... He is not going to fall or burn out... Like I say... Its one of the days where nothing seems to be going right in your life...

This is the kind of time when you needed that Voice... That Voice that whispers to you... That Voice that says "Keep going... Don't look back... Keep walking" That Voice that will bring with him a little strength... That Voice that brings a little Wisdom as well...

Come and Speak to me....

How to pop the "small" question way before the big one?

Recently, I came across a friend's blog. She didn't give me her permission to read her blog, I just came across it by chance. Yes, I know I don't have her permission to read it. But as I read on, I am hooked on to it. Many of what she discuss about are familiar to me. I guess one day I will have to confess to her that I read her blog.

One of her blog that particularly intrigue me was the one she discussed on the transition from dates couples to couplehood.

So what do you do if you talk to this particular friend of the opposite gender regularly, meet up regularly(one or more times a week) and even met the parents. You do like each other. And, how will you pop the "small" question?

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Girl: Is there anyone that you like a lot?

Boy: Er yes...

Girl: Who? Anyone I know?

Boy: Er not really....

Girl: Oh....

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There is a 101 reasons why when confronted, guys give you a "half-past-six" answer like the above. He may be undecided if she is suitable for him. Or he may have a serious issue with commitment. Or he thinks that the both of them are not ready to discuss this. Or he don't have the confident he needs YET to pop the "small" question. Either way, the girl is obviously trying to second guess whether he is just treating her as a buddy or more.

Well, I believe that we have all pass that stage of "Hmm, I... I like you.. Do you like me too? Can you be my steady?"

Relationships are all the same... Building on the one Solid foundation of Trust and Faith... I can totally understand if a girl just wants to be sure so that she could re-invest her time and effort elsewhere if things don't turn out the way it should be. It does take a great leap of Faith to put all the eggs in one basket. But yet in the world of economics, the more you invest, the more the returns. But of course, the more you invest, the more you May lose and the more the heartache. Life is all about taking risk isn't it?

Now back to the topic of relationships, Males are simple-minded Simpletons. That means there is no grey area. To them, its either a yes or a no. A maybe yes or maybe not can hardly exist in a mind that is preoccupied with Sex, Sports, and Tv. Maybe the guy just do not want to rush into things or he wants to be dead certain.

However, second guessing, the girl is not helping at all. It creates more doubts than there already is. How can a guy survive with a girl that is so doubtful? Does the doubt come from insecurity? Whatever reason it may be. It is due to the lack of Faith in the relationship. And that send a very big signal to the guy. Hey look, we Males are going to make a decision to be there all the time. We got to be very sure that we don pick someone that is full of questions and doubts everyday. We want to enjoy the relationship too you know?

A Male will always, in every situation make the best decision that he know how. But when a girl try to "help" him with his decision...

"把苗助長" ~ As the old Chinese proverb goes, every farmer will know helping the shoot to grow by pulling it a little everyday is suicidal...

Relationships are like little seeds. Trust is like water and Faith is like the sunshine. Of course, every seed is start off sowing into good grounds. A ground of stability, a ground of strength and virtue. Seeds must be watered with Trust each day and the volume of water grows proportionately as the seedling grows. Lots of sunshine is important too. And even though the clouds may occasionally come, and dark skies may haunt the seedlings, patience, hope and Faith never fails to nourish the seed to grow into a healthy seedlings and then a full grown tree. In other words, there will be sunshine after the rain.

Maybe we are all more educated now. There is always this temptation to try to speed things up a little. However the Law of the Harvest continues. Seed, Time and Harvest will be the key to all full grown healthy tree of Life.

My friend, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you and your friend found your answers!

One man down...

January 22nd, 2007... Monday...

Went to work... Hurriedly I scrambled into the office onto my desk... Like every other day I turned on my computer to clear my emails. As the computer starts up, I made myself a cup of coffee. I sit down at my desk and started my day.

It was a usual Monday morning, just like every other Monday. I felt a bit tired due to the prolong lack of sleep. My movements and reactions were slower that day.

Everyone in the office were talking about the decease of a colleague since they step into the office. But yet I was like a cold-blooded animal siting at my desk minding my own business. Well, one, I was pretty "stone" that day I didn't know or bother to find out what is the whole commotion all about. And two, I barely know who Mr Ang is. He works in another office. See, I am in the line of agriculture, the next office is 100 metres away. I have met him in the vicinity before but I didn't know he is Mr Ang.

Anyway, Mr Ang died of hypertension. Last Friday, he was at work in his office. To cut long story short, Mr Ang fell off his chair all of a sudden. Some say he fainted, some say he knock his head on the ground. Some say he died on the spot, some say he died in the hospital. (This is how human pass messages. There are always more or less than what is suppose to be the truth.) Anyway, Mr Lee, who sat beside Mr Ang picked his up from the floor and ask if he needed to be sent to the doctor. However, Mr Ang refused. He sat in his chair and rest for a while and carry on with what he was doing. Stories were said that on that night he went back and felt that something not right. He admitted to hospital and died there due to hypertension. There were also stories that said one of his artery in his brain burst and cause his death.

Ok... I have finished my introduction... So now the fact here is that Mr Ang died... It was said that he often come over this office to chat and have a coffee break with the workers at the worker's pantry. So I establish the fact that he should be quite close to all the "old-birds" here in this office.

Mr Ang was a quiet man. Yet his death made him top the "most talk-about" chart overnight. All day long, the whole of Monday and Tuesday, his death was the most talk about topic in the office. Words from all these men uttered, were about how much Mr Ang was miss, how unfortunate he was and how life have no certainty, one day you are around, the other day you just lie beneath the ground. Yet somehow, behind those humane words, I felt that there was a different spirit.

Something tells me that all the deeds and words was just a show. Something tells me that his 30 years of friendship built was built on sand. Most of them went to the wake that day. Yet some of them visited the Singapore Pools before heading to the funeral if you know what I mean.

Some of them speaks of his death with a spirit of pride as if they had triumph over death, and even when death approaches there is nothing to fear. Nothing to fear? That really depends on where you are heading my friend.

Witnessing what I witnessed was indeed a tragedy. A tragic tale of a man who died leaving how many good friends behind. A tragic sight of men, of the ugly nature that I just have had to experience again. A tragic moment, a moment of truth that shows the vulnerability of man.

I begin to ask myself what is the most important thing in this lifetime? What memories can I bring to heaven with? What kind of tale do I want to leave behind? How will I die? Will I complete Creation before I leave?

Isn't true friends what is most important in one's lifetime? Isn't friendship the only thing you bring with you to the new heaven? Don't you want to leave a legacy of tales about how a true friend you are by many? Don't you want to die knowing that you have completed your race?

Indeed, "When you know how you die, you begin to know how to live" ~ Tuesdays with Morrie.

First dinner with friends in 2007....

Yesterday I went out shopping with two ladies... That was my first time going out this year... Or some would say my "virgin" dinner cum shopping trip in the new year... Yes I know... It's pathetic... Well... Some people just don't have that luxury anymore... Sigh...

The date... Hmm... Is it call a date? Anyway... It was classic... We say the most "sa-la" thing that any one can ever imagine... It was hilarious....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friend 1: I like this top on the manequin... But I can't find a belt for it...

Gary: Try the belt on the manequin la...

Friend 1: Ya... But I can't find where it is place...

Friend 2: Just strip it off her....

Gary: Classic...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friend 2: That day I was shopping... I was looking at a pair of jeans... Then my friend came over... As he approach... The hanger drop to the floor and I say "See la... When you come, my pants drop...."

Gary: Classic...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary: Hey... Did I just heard you praying??

Friend 2: No I am singing... I love tounges.... They are frenchy....

Gary: Classic...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isn't this a classic? These are my friends who make my day...

养兵千日， 用在一招。

人说: "养兵千日， 用在一招。"

All that preparation, all that hard work, only for today.

As I walked into the battlefield, all that was in my mind was to kill. I was ready to take on anything that come against my way. The clock is ticking, we are all waiting for the moment, waiting for that Que... There it was a moment of silence... So quiet I could almost hear the heartbeat of my neighbour...

Finally, the flag went up... The whistle blew... The war has began... There was a silent out-cry and everyone pick up their weapon and charged full speed ahead... Charging at everything that comes first to them... I picked up my Sword, my black Pilot ballpoint, it won me many battles... I start slashing it on everything that came to me...

200 men... All dispersed... Truly we are greatly outnumbered... I was on my own now... Thoughts flowed through my mind... Doubts sneaked behind me... I suffered a blow, I was slashed... I pick myself up and put my Sword right through Doubts' heart...

"It is over!! It is over!!"

The war is over... I can hear the people cheering... Relieving... It is over... Finally over... There were cries and moaning... There were casualties... There were cheers and laughter... There were victories...

To them, the war has ended... And peace has returned... At least for some time... However, this marks a beginning of a brand new battle...

I left the battlefield and returned to my Castle... I looked into the mirror... Into the edvidence of war accumulated over the years... I put on my shirt and adjourn to my room... I laid down... At least for now... I can retire... ~

The Battle has began...

1900hr is the hour of destiny...

The hour that will seal my fate... The battle shall begin...

I had 20,000 soldiers before I come into this Land... Through the way to my destination, they are lost... Now I am left with 200 men.

Will I survive? Will I emerge? Will I be victorious? Will I triumph?

I do not know... But one thing I do know... I have to fight till the very end... I will fight till my very last breathe...

The Battle has began...

May the angels of heaven come with me....

The day before Exam..

As usual, the day before the exam is heart throbbing, adrenaline pumping...

There is still 50% to cover... Oh mine... So much more to cover... That is challenging... Tomorrow is my big day to get revenge... I cannot lose... No way... I don't allow it...

NO!!!!..... I Say The Vengeance Is Mine!!!!.....

Back to study....

Finally I went for a swim...

Staying here for 7 years... Today is the first time I went swimming in my pool for the last 5 years... Was it tiring... Man.. I am getting old...

Haha... But it feels good... Excerise always feels good... I should do this more often... Yup...

My New Timetable

My new timetable is out... From 20 Jan 2007 till 25 Apr 2007... You will not believe this...

I have classes on Both Saturdays and Sundays from 10am to 6pm... For crying out loud... We are part-time students... With full-time day jobs... I got to work from Mondays all the way till Fridays... 8am to 530pm... Got lessons after work 7pm to 10pm... And there are Saturdays and Sundays classes? One of the Saturdays, I even have a 10am to 10pm lesson...

Oh my God... Did I sign up for a degree night class or did I just sign a document that sold my soul away... Goodness... I am not a machine... Even machines cannot go on 24-7 everyday... And the school expects us to study after every lessons and do well...

RIDICULOUS....

Well I guess that is life... There are always unreasonable requests... I guess I just have to make some changes, lower expectations, and just settle for less... Arr!!! I hate to settle for less...

*clears throat* Ex.. sss... cus... ssss.... me.... *nod & smile* I just got ROBERTED....

吃盡苦中苦，方為人上人。

吃盡苦中苦，方為人上人。 ~ An old Chinese saying with many hidden Truth.

Do you remember those times where you find yourself going through a muddy situation, you got caught in the mud and you do not know how to get yourself out of that frustrating path? All you see in front are more mud path, more sticky mud, and you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the mud every step you advance. You look behind and you can't see where was the point where it all started to be sticky. You can't turn back. You do not know how much further you need to go before you get out of that mud. You feel frustrated because you are stuck in-between. Yet somehow there was a gentle voice in your head telling you "It's OK... Just keep walking.." So you decided to keep moving. Then there came another voice and say "Are you sure about this? You don't even know where will this lead you to.." And you come back to square one, confused, frustrated, and you do not know what to do.

Yes, I do experience sticky situations now and then. However, it is the path I chose that determines where I will end up.

I have always remembered my Chinese roots. The days when I have to memorise one Chinese Proverb a day. Ha.. 5000 years of civilisation do have its sense of wisdom.

As the proverb says, "吃盡苦中苦，方為人上人。" Trials and tribulations and testings in this life is inevitable. Read a post, a friend of mine blogged. Reality finally hits him. He realised time is no longer at his side. He faces pressures from every side. Forcing him to make a decision. There is two path he can make. He can pick himself up and do something about it, or he can be intimidated, ignored and hide away in everydays facade. What did he choose? How will he base his decisions on?

I read another blog, it belongs to another friend. He seems like someone full of confidence. He seems like he wouldn't be shaken even if the sky falls to the ground. But yet, he wants to be more popular. I do not know if I am right about it, but I felt that he wants to be more popular to feel more accepted. Strangely, he is popular. Maybe not the extend he wanted himself to be.

So what does this two friend of mine have in common? They both got shaken by people's opinion. Well you don't give the religious "OOoooOoo..." Oh please... There is no temptation or adversity that is not common to every Man. Just if people can understand that they are doing exactly what they should do, that they are doing fine... Will this world be a better place... That kind of confidence can help every individual to be stable and do what they are suppose to do...

"Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love." ~ David McCullough

There is so many people I come across. They do not know what they want to do in life. Again... Don't you dare give the religious "OOoooOoo..." Not everyone is so fortunate to know what they want to do. And even when you know now what you want to do, don't be surprise that one day in the future your dreams and visions will change. Some people just take years of failures to learn the keys of success.

Success... What is Success? Success is the measure of How much you acomplish in Life compares to How much that you Could have done. So the physical manifestation of your success is subjective.

So many people got tired of their life. Have a mid-life or even quarter-life crisis... They could not stand not being successful... So they want to do business... In hope that a successful business life can bring them the comfort and assurance of being successful... Yet, Real Success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. Passion and love is what will sustain you in fighting on a good fight...

Edward de Bono says, "Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations."

Doesn't that explains it all? Its often our expectations that bring us down. Our self-doubt that cause us to shaken, to tremble, and have the sight that everything seems like a giant, that self is nothing but a grasshopper.

So when will anyone learn? That the key to happiness is success, and success is not all that makes you happy?

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." ~ Albert Camus

You have only One Life. Live it. Enjoy it. Work Hard. Play hard. Be happy. Be contended. Help people. Help yourself. Its your life. Choose it. Choose well...

Beaten but not Out...

They say that "Time and Tide awaits No Man!" Indeed...

Today... I am beaten... Got hit.. Hard... It was a low blow... Did not see that coming... I lost... It cost me my precious... He walked away smiling... I was furious... I am frustrated... I was beaten... But I am not out... I want a rematch... I want a rematch... He got away... He got his way...

This was a lesson... A cosy one... I will not forget... I will get you back... Next thursday... One more round... The final round... The most important round... I awaits for that moment... The moment of my revenge... I will not let my guard down this time... And I WILL BEAT YOU!!!

Two down... Its the final countdown... Bring it on... Time...

One more tomorrow...

Another paper tomorrow... How did I ever survive studying full-time in the past... Gee...

1 down 2 more to go...

Came back from exam... But it felt like coming back from a war... A war where there is no bullets, no guns, no explosives, no enemies... However the only one you are fighting against is Time...

It was good fight... A good battle... It was nerve-racking... Yet fulfilling... The race against Time... To beat Time, to conquer Time. That sensation was beyond any I have experienced. The wave of fulfilment beats against my chest, warms my heart, and brings life into me.

Now it is finished... 1 down.. 2 more to go... amitiés

Confucius Says

Check out what Confucius has to Say... Confused??

It has been long since my last post...

Gee... 2006... What a year... It just pass like that... That is how important time is... When it pass you by you cannot get it back..

Today.. Jeremy, a friend I knew since Sec 1.. He said.. "Hey guess what? This is our 13th year!"

Yeah... That is how time flies..

Time... Something that everyone has... Everyone needs more... Everyone work against... There is so much to do yet so little time... Oh... Wait.. Everyone has 24 hrs a day... Well that is little... Or am I too greedy? Too many to acomplish?

Tomorrow is my Exam.. Paper 1 of 3... Goodness... Again?? I thought I have just finished a paper.. Why yes... Everything now seems to be "like chasing the wind"... Until that "day". 1.5 more years and I am a free-man... Counting down that day to come... When I finally get to do what I have put on hold....

吃盡苦中苦，方為人上人。

Oh well.. Old saying... But it cheers you up... Ha...