How to have a successful relationship?

by Gary Quek

We all want a successful marriage or relationship with our love ones. Yet how many of us want to take up that responsibility to treat our love ones right?

It all begins with begins with small decisions.

"He will understand if I stay late at work again." "She doesn't mind if I go out with the guys."

Indeed, in relationship we must be understanding towards each other's needs and requirement. Yet when that assurance of understanding becomes too familiar. Familiarity breeds contempt. We slip into a routine of separate hobbies, separate schedules, separate goals and separate lives. We and our love ones become separate.

All marriages are moving toward either intimacy or isolation. Yet the outcomes lies on the choice you make.

"You can make your marriage relationship happier by understanding and being tolerant of the differences between you and your spouse."

So what can you do?

You can discuss your feelings without accusing your spouse or overdramatizing your feelings. Simply explain how you feel.

If you are the listening party, listen objectively. Listen to what your spouse doesn't say. What does this tell you about his or her needs? Don't be defensive. Your spouse is not out there to pick on you, he/she is opening up to you with his/her vulnerablity. Remember, the main piroity in this conversation is reconciling. Not fault finding.

Discuss what you need. Don't assume that he should know, or she won't understand. Be honest.

Discuss specific areas that both can improve to support each other. Try to become receptive to ways to improve yourself for your spouse. What can you do to improve the level of communication? How can you make your mate happier when you are together?

Learn to understand the differences between you and your spouse. Then be tolerant.

Recognize and accept the limitations in your relationship. Your mate cannot provide 100 percent of your emotional needs and should not feel pressured to do so.