A friend, let's just named, E. E often asked me what is on my mind. My replies are often, "I don't know..", "A lot of jumbled up thoughts.." or "Things that I don't want to think about.."
Well, E thinks I have a lot to hide. But what I have said was true. Nevertheless, I appreciated E for the space I was given.
I guess that is what friends are for. That they do not need to know. But they will be there when you fall to catch you.
But sad to say people like that are hard to come by. Most people I know adopt the "quick-fix" method. They want to know.. I beg your pardon... They demand to know what you are thinking and drill you with solutions... They want to fix you.. These are people who have lost their human touch... Because we are not an object to fix.. But a person to nurture..
Ok... I shall leave that another post.. It is a whole new sermon altogether.
Well I guess I have been unhappy for sometime. And what that has weighed me down was disappointments... Disappointments in many things...
Disappointed with God, disappointed with people, disappointed with myself, and disappointed that my dreams died...
Imagine that you are pregnant with a dream, and you have carried it for 9 months and it is going to give birth. But it died before seeing the light.
The kind of pain, trauma, emotions, and grief, all mix together manifesting at the same time. It took me a long time to come to terms to that reality. And in those times, I had no one who would listen that I can talk to. Oh yes... It was hell of an emotional period. But thank God for technology. I could blog.
Ok.. I lost my train of thoughts. I forgot what was the main point about this post.. Nevermind.. Just listen to the nice music below.
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