"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" " ~ Matthew 27:46 (NKJV)
Ever been disappointed with God?
I know I have. Oh come on... Are you really that spiritual? Even Jesus let out in His dying breathe, "Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?"
"To the Chief Musician. Set to 'The Deer of the Dawn.' A Psalm of David. My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, And from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent. " ~ Psalms 22:1-2 (NKJV)
In his bitter cry of dereliction Jesus made those words His own. But not only did Jesus cry out for himself, he cried out for us too. He gave expression to all of humanity’s—all of creation’s (Romans 8:22)—groaning cries of disappointment with God. On the cross, our cries are both anticipated and caught up in his.
"For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now." ~ Romans 8:22 (NKJV)
Why has God forsaken me?
In November 2006, God spoke to me, He told me it is a season for me to reap what I have faithfully sown over the past years. I was excited. I was trilled. I was waiting to see my rewards. In April 2007 onwards, things starts to go downhill. Challenges started coming. A series of unfortunate events, bad things kept happening. In my humble opinion, my two cents worth, I don't deserve it. Yet Sh*t happens! There are more. Just not recorded.
Now its May 2008. Where are my blessings? I do not see. Yet bad things keep on happening. They never stop. Is God a God that never fulfils His promise? Certainly Not! Am I made of steel? Certainly Not! Flesh and blood I am. Ever read Job chapter 6?
"Then Job spoke again: "If my sadness could be weighed and my troubles be put on the scales, they would be heavier than all the sands of the sea. That is why I spoke so rashly. For the Almighty has struck me down with his arrows. He has sent his poisoned arrows deep within my spirit. All God's terrors are arrayed against me. Don't I have a right to complain? Wild donkeys bray when they find no green grass, and oxen low when they have no food. People complain when there is no salt in their food. And how tasteless is the uncooked white of an egg! My appetite disappears when I look at it; I gag at the thought of eating it!
"Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant my hope. I wish he would crush me. I wish he would reach out his hand and kill me. At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One. But I do not have the strength to endure. I do not have a goal that encourages me to carry on. Do I have strength as hard as stone? Is my body made of bronze? No, I am utterly helpless, without any chance of success." ~ Job 6
I was praying the other day. Crying out to God. It happened again. The Holy Spirit came and He took me out and went back in time again. At the Garden of Gethsemane, what was in 2-3 verses was the longest moment probably in history.
"Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me." He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." " ~ Matthew 26 : 38-39
Then He said to them, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch." He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. And He said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." ~ Mark 14 : 34-36
I was there. Standing beside the Holy Spirit, looking at Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane. Yes, I know it is werid. The next moment I was feeling the intensity of the pain, the reluctance of going through what is going on in Jesus. The torture in the spirit, mind and body. It was too much to bear.
I don't know what my vision meant. But I know what I saw and what I felt. And my soul indeed is exceedingly sorrowful. I don't need no blessings. I just wish if it is possible, let all this "trials" stop. It is just too much.
Now there is only one thing that I have left. Although I don't comprehend, it is the only thing I have left.
"a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~ 2 Corinthians 12 : 7-10 (NKJV)
It is all I have left...
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