Recently, I came across a friend's blog. She didn't give me her permission to read her blog, I just came across it by chance. Yes, I know I don't have her permission to read it. But as I read on, I am hooked on to it. Many of what she discuss about are familiar to me. I guess one day I will have to confess to her that I read her blog.
One of her blog that particularly intrigue me was the one she discussed on the transition from dates couples to couplehood.
So what do you do if you talk to this particular friend of the opposite gender regularly, meet up regularly(one or more times a week) and even met the parents. You do like each other. And, how will you pop the "small" question?
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Girl: Is there anyone that you like a lot?
Boy: Er yes...
Girl: Who? Anyone I know?
Boy: Er not really....
Girl: Oh....
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There is a 101 reasons why when confronted, guys give you a "half-past-six" answer like the above. He may be undecided if she is suitable for him. Or he may have a serious issue with commitment. Or he thinks that the both of them are not ready to discuss this. Or he don't have the confident he needs YET to pop the "small" question. Either way, the girl is obviously trying to second guess whether he is just treating her as a buddy or more.
Well, I believe that we have all pass that stage of "Hmm, I... I like you.. Do you like me too? Can you be my steady?"
Relationships are all the same... Building on the one Solid foundation of Trust and Faith... I can totally understand if a girl just wants to be sure so that she could re-invest her time and effort elsewhere if things don't turn out the way it should be. It does take a great leap of Faith to put all the eggs in one basket. But yet in the world of economics, the more you invest, the more the returns. But of course, the more you invest, the more you May lose and the more the heartache. Life is all about taking risk isn't it?
Now back to the topic of relationships, Males are simple-minded Simpletons. That means there is no grey area. To them, its either a yes or a no. A maybe yes or maybe not can hardly exist in a mind that is preoccupied with Sex, Sports, and Tv. Maybe the guy just do not want to rush into things or he wants to be dead certain.
However, second guessing, the girl is not helping at all. It creates more doubts than there already is. How can a guy survive with a girl that is so doubtful? Does the doubt come from insecurity? Whatever reason it may be. It is due to the lack of Faith in the relationship. And that send a very big signal to the guy. Hey look, we Males are going to make a decision to be there all the time. We got to be very sure that we don pick someone that is full of questions and doubts everyday. We want to enjoy the relationship too you know?
A Male will always, in every situation make the best decision that he know how. But when a girl try to "help" him with his decision...
"把苗助長" ~ As the old Chinese proverb goes, every farmer will know helping the shoot to grow by pulling it a little everyday is suicidal...
Relationships are like little seeds. Trust is like water and Faith is like the sunshine. Of course, every seed is start off sowing into good grounds. A ground of stability, a ground of strength and virtue. Seeds must be watered with Trust each day and the volume of water grows proportionately as the seedling grows. Lots of sunshine is important too. And even though the clouds may occasionally come, and dark skies may haunt the seedlings, patience, hope and Faith never fails to nourish the seed to grow into a healthy seedlings and then a full grown tree. In other words, there will be sunshine after the rain.
Maybe we are all more educated now. There is always this temptation to try to speed things up a little. However the Law of the Harvest continues. Seed, Time and Harvest will be the key to all full grown healthy tree of Life.
My friend, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you and your friend found your answers!
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